Confession: It’s less than 30 minutes before this post is supposed to go “live,” and I’m still staring at a blank screen.
After Monday’s post, I’ve been, underwhelmed to say the least, to sit down and pour my heart out in an emotional and spiritually uplifting post.
The response, and rather – the backlash – from the post, brought out, some not-so-nice words, to put it lightly. My faith was questioned. I was told I was cursed by God – and that my singleness, infertility and history with anorexia were all signs of said curse. I was called names that would make a sailor blush. (All of said comments have been removed.)
And to be honest, I’m just not, really, feeling the whole emotional vulnerability thing tonight.
And I get that I put out a piece that garnered a lot of feelings from a lot of people, and I did expect that type of response. And frankly, negative feedback comes with the territory of putting yourself on the internet – I completely understand that and am ready to take a few hits. But I guess I wasn’t really expecting it to get that personal.
But: I’m sorry if the piece was offensive to you. Truly, my sincerest apology. I was seeking to merely start a healthy, respectful dialogue. Nothing more, and if my words hit a place of sensitivity, then please accept my apology.
So tonight, I thought I’d share my favorite excerpt from my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones.

“May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing…Let me hear of Your unfailing love to me in the morning for I am trusting You.” Ps 143:10
“Your unfailing love” That made me scoff. Unfailing love was for “Becky with the good hair.” It was for the choir singers. The do-gooders. Not me. Not the liar. Not the dirty anorexic. All I could see when I looked in the mirror was failure. How could a God with unfailing love, even consider loving a girl that she, herself, was an utter failure? It seemed out of the realm of possibility.
There’s a term I’ve come to lean on. It started in recovery, and since then, has expanded to other areas of my life: Radical Trust. It’s radical because it just doesn’ make any sense. It’s an extreme move.
God, I’m just going to go for it and trust You. Your love and graciousness is unfathomable, and I cannot comprehend how good You really are, so I’m going to be bold and trust You. Be radical and trust that You are going to help me through this incredibly hard and scary season of my life. Turst that You really will give me firm footing and that You really do love me.
Do you believe in His unfailing love to you? Hearing that, how does it make you feel? Can you trust Him? What could happen if you were to trust Him?

***Thank you to everyone who has ordered my books, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones and “My Blogging Tips“***
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God Bless You, Your such an inspiration!
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Thanks so much Charles! And you too friend! Hugs and love xox
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Don’t worry about anything and just go on with what you love to do. Pay no heed to others thats how you can live your life happily.
https://lostgirl17site.wordpress.com
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thanks friend, I really appreciate this encouragement. Hugs and love xox
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No problem.
Check me out of possible.
I think you’ll be able to relate to my blogs.
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absolutely! can’t wait to read your words! x
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Aww thank you.
Let me know of you have some advice’s or if you liked it or not.
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will do!
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This is beautiful and amazing. Sometimes my mind can’t comprehend God’s love… it’s mind blowing!
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Oh my gosh thank you so much:) yes it is mind blowing! Hugs and love xox
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When people respond to your honest, heartfelt words with hatred and name calling, they have a problem! Not you … your blog is thoughtful, thought-provoking, and inspiring. Keep on sharing … and thank you for visiting JanBeek’s “Love One Another.” I think we are kindred spirits! 👍🏽❤️
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Thanks Jan, I really appreciate that 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I’m learning to believe and trust in God’s unfailing love for me…there are times I may question and even doubt things but I believe that’s a part of this journey. I also have to remind myself that if He’s gotten me through certain situations before, He can do it again. It was God’s love that restored my confidence and showed me that I am good enough (when I was younger, my self-esteem wasn’t good and caused me to get into toxic relationships).
I encourage you to keep sharing your story because someone out there needs to hear it. Those that are offended/lash out wish that they had your strength and courage.
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Thanks for sharing your story. Yes! His love restores 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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God bless you. Thank you for stopping by my site; I thought I’d return the favor. You are such an inspiration about what our God Jesus Christ can do in a person. You are in my prayers.
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Thanks so much Michael! I really appreciate your prayers and kind words! Hugs and love xox
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This is beautiful. My faith has been something I’ve found really hard to share through posts, as many people would just not “get it” and I feared being rejected. But really when I look back at my recovery from anorexia, and now where my heart and passion for unconditionally loving and supporting others has come from, it’s from his unfailing love and utter grace. Thank you for sharing this!! xx
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Aw thank you so much Josceline! Amen to that – His love and grace heal!! Hugs and love xox
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They say we aren’t supposed to question God as to why we are out through what we are going through. I can’t help but ask but I know one day it will all make sense. Sometimes I want to fall but someone higher spiritually wont allow me to do so. I truly believe that our blessings our coming in due time but we have to have faith and trust! God blesses the ones who fight to keep their faith and even at our darkest moments we are still being loved!
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Thanks for this thoughtful response. You’re so right – we’ve got to keep the faith. Hugs and love xox
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You share your feelings so vividly. My deepest empathy is with you. Anand Bose from Kerala.
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aw thank you so much, Anand. i really appreciate your encouragement. Hugs and love xox
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Hugs and Love to you to you too
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xoxox 🙂 🙂 🙂 xoxo
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I had to go back a read the post you are talking about. I may not agree 100% with what you said but there is no place for name calling or hatred toward you. I am sorry that happened to you. It hurts, I know. Keep being you and speaking in truth and love and let the rest go. It’s not your problem if others have an issue with your views. Not everyone will like what you write. And that’s okay. Continue to write for His glory. God bless.
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Thanks so much for your encouraging words. It really means a lot. You’re right – an audience of One! Hugs and love xox
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I some way its true …Kindly check our blog to get motivated https://voiceofdil.com/2017/10/30/proposal/
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thanks 🙂 x
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Being vulnerable is exceptionally difficult… but remembering one’s place before the Maker is worth it. The Maker who came in the most vulnerable form he could have come and gave his life to offer healing for humanity’s sicknesses. I pray that grace and peace will be yours as you continue to meander with the Great Shepherd. — ES
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Hey ES, thanks for your prayers and kind words. Means a lot. Hugs and love xox
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Isn’t it strange and funny how so many people feel free to make judgments on others (you are cursed because you are ……….) as if they themselves are pure and sinless and have never done anything which is worthy of God’s anger themselves?
How is it that we grow up in such an atmosphere in which God is presented as the constantly angry Deity rather than loving Father? I sense in your posts that you and I are terribly alike in our struggles to understand that Our Father loves us and is on our side.
BTW – I say this without any hidden intent. You are a pretty girl and very intelligent. Love yourself – as our Father love you. Don’t let the negative people get to you.
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Thanks so much for this encouragement. It really means a lot 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I nominated you for an award! Check out my most recent blog post!
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Oh my gosh thank you so much! What an honor! Hugs and love xox
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Really very nice to read your words.
When the whole world unhands you the hands of God reach to hold your staggering steps.
Every love can be the bed of thorns in the rose but the love of God is unfailing, can never do anything wrong with their children.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes God’s Love is unfailing. Hugs and love xox
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