Put the Fire Out

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I have a confession: one that I’m really not proud of.

But tonight at church, and really for the last couple weeks, I honestly have just felt…nothing.

It’s like I’ve been spiritually numb.

But tonight was different. I was actually getting angry.

I was sitting in the pew, and just inexplicably fuming, being critical of every little thing: the priest seemed arrogant. The pace was too slow. I was literally shooting daggers with my eyes at the elderly woman leading the songs. (A capella, I might add.) Who is this monster I’ve allowed in my thoughts and heart?!

But I was just checked out. And the more I thought about it, the worse it got.

I’m going to be honest: growing up, I had a few episodes of… the silent treatment.

I’m not proud to admit that passive aggressive low blow, but I have been known to give my parents the silent treatment during rare occasions, back in the day, when I was really angry about something.

And I realized tonight, that my behavior pattern in church these last few weeks is exactly that: I’m giving God the silent treatment.

Because I realized tonight, I’m still angry at Him. I’m still feeling really hurt and abandoned and so I’ve been slipping into my old bad habit of icing out the person I’m upset with.

Obviously, I’m upset with God for my mom’s stroke and the aftermath we’re having to adjust to. But there’s recently been something else.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I have an autoimmune disease: Ulcerative Colitis. And in the last two weeks, I’ve had a pretty severe symptom flare up: An extra-intestinal symptom, meaning it’s an autoimmune response not associated with Ulcerative Colitis, but just due to the fact that my immune system is screwed up.

Anyways, long story short, I’m just angry that God is allowing this. I’m thinking, Seriously God? You’re going to throw this at me now…when it hasn’t even been a year since my mom’s stroke?

And thinking about it tonight, I know the textbook answer is that I’m supposed to “trust God” and “rely not on my own understanding but believe in His perfect plan and timing.”

And frankly, that just seems so passive right now, when I’ve got this fiery symptom flaring up, and I’m just waiting to see what happens next?

Tonight, during the sermon, I was berating it in my mind, pleading for it to just hurry up and be over already, when my ears caught something that made me actually start listening: the priest’s dad had a stroke.

OK…I’m listening.

He went on to discuss the importance of praise, especially when we’re in seemingly hopeless or upsetting situations.

We can trust. We can do what we have to do. But we must never forget to praise Him, because His love never changes, no matter the circumstance. Not even if we’re icing Him out: His love is worthy of praise.

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Honestly, that’s not really what I wanted to hear tonight. I would have rather just fumed about the hard-of-hearing older woman belting out the hymn, off tempo and off key, and just hate on everything about my current situation.

That would have been the easy – and probably more temporarily satisfying – thing to do. But I realize that by turning my eyes upward, I will take my focus off of myself. I’ll alleviate my fears and worry by thinking about the One who truly has never let me down.

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Turns out that every “seemingly horrible” scenario in my life – be it my anorexia, past flares, mom’s stroke, etc.…each of those literal life altering seasons of my life have set me on the path I needed to be on, and taught me an invaluable lesson along the way.

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I kinda wish I could go back and have a “do-over” of church today, and walk in there with the mindset I have now rather than the Critical Caralyn that hemmed and hawed her way through mass this evening.

I guess there’s always tomorrow for that.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

435 thoughts on “Put the Fire Out”

  2. I’m naturally passive aggressive too. If turning those experiences to praise is not working, another option is rage. We’re looking at a God who claims to have known us in the womb and says he has a record of how many hairs there are on our head. There is no point in being silent, its not theoretically possible.

    Its like one of those open secrets “I know, and you know, and I know that you know, but if I admit to you that you know it will break the spell” sort of thing. Unsustaintable.

    The psalmists and the prophets are constantly at him with their disappointment and their frustration – I think sometimes saying right out loud the worst thing you think God wants to hear is a good place to be.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I agree wholeheartedly. God already knows what we’re feeling. Why not hash it out with Him? He’s a big God. He can take it. And He’s gonna keep on loving us anyway. Our relationship with Him is like any other we have. It won’t grow if we keep things bottled up inside. As you already mentioned, even David, a man after God’s own heart, didn’t hold back any punches. He laid it all out before God but the cool thing is David’s ranting, whining and complaining always ended in full-blown praise for the God he trusted to save, protect, love and carry him all of his days.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Really sorry to hear about your trouble in church, I went through a similar thing quite a few years ago now and ended up turning to other places for answers to questions for why things were so bad and why is god letting them happen. I never found the answers and gave up on religion. Not saying you should though, if you can find your answers in your faith then stick with it but always follow your instincts. it’s normal and healthy to question things, I still think about that stuff even though I’m a massive atheist xD

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  4. And here is the major reason you and I differ. The whole “why does he let bad things happen to kids and good people and innocent victims, when he could snap a finger and save them” is why I’ll never be a believer. Always impressed you can find your faith lady!

    I hope you feel better from you flare up soon! Hugs as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m impressed with the level of honesty of both you and BBB. I was raised to be a Christian (Catholic) and have faith in God. Trust and believe, I tried. I ended up being, what I think, is a believer of reason. I have respect for the faith of others, whatever that may be. My Point: The honesty WITH civility I am seeing here, in both of you, is very refreshing .

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey Caralyn, it’s ok to feel angry. Cuz honestly, life sucks (at times… sometimes it feels like all the time). You’ve gone through a lot. Let yourself vent!! In fact, good for you. Thank you for being honest!
    If I may be so bold to say, remember that the devil is real, and he’s the bully. Also, we are all sinful, and we all deserve hell. All the crap that life throws at us? It’s the result of being infected with sin. BUT – our comfort comes from our God who loves us, promises to be with us, and sacrificed the life of his perfect son for us so that after we endure this life, we will live forever with him in a perfect one.
    Anyway, girl your posts are great and I always look forward to reading them. Love you! Keep it up.

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  7. A few things. First off, everyone goes through dry spells spiritually. Personally, I have enough of them to qualify as my own desert. It happens. We’re human. Life gets us down, especially if life is tough. You start walking around wondering if God is really All-Powerful, how come He can’t float some of that power our way to make things easier.

    Ever since April, life has kind of sucked, but I suppose not in the same way yours has.

    I was laid off of my job at a company where I had been (apparently) a good worker for eight years. That’s what happens when the largest private equity firm in the world sinks millions into you, puts members on your board, and changes the rules considerably (the price of success, I fear). Then my Dad died suddenly (and I’m super thankful I just happened to be visiting at the time since I have no idea how Mom would have managed otherwise). Mom’s dementia is getting worse and worse. I’m working at a temp-slave job and have the world’s worst medical insurance. On top of all that, my wife and one of my sons left Idaho for California this morning to visit my daughter in Napa, California and to take her some stuff she bought on her last visit here. No one is answering my texts and there’s a 200 acre fire in Napa County

    I don’t blame God for most of that, not yet. If my son and wife turn up dead, then I’ll have to re-evaluate that position. They probably are fine, Maybe they are in a place with no cell reception. Maybe they’re just busy and will get back to me.

    My Dad was one day shy of his 85th birthday when he died. My Mom is 85 and she’s terrified of losing her independence. Her decision making ability is in the toilet. I’m stressed out of my mind right now. Where is God?

    Where He’s always been of course. My big problem isn’t God, it’s me. He’s been there for me a thousand thousand times in the past and I only ever realized it after the fact. I’m banking on this situation being the same.

    You are one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever known (except that we’ve never met, of course). Don’t beat yourself up for being human. God understands, even when everyone else can’t or won’t because, after all, they/we aren’t God.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi James, thank you so much for sharing your story. Gosh my heart just goes out to you. I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I will definitely keep your family in my prayers. Thank you for this powerful response. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The good news is I called my wife and everyone was fine. True to form, she didn’t perceive that anything was amiss so that part’s all good. I’m surprisingly okay with my Dad’s passing. I’m a lot more worried about Mom.

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  8. Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been struggling with depression for most of my life, and the past year and half has been awful. And while I didn’t find myself angry with God (probably because I didn’t have the strength or passion to be angry about anything), I wanted to know WHY God is allowing this to happen.

    I’m still struggling through it, but something I’ve learned during this struggle is that I’m not alone. I’ve reached out and connected with people that I never thought really cared. And I wouldn’t have reached out if I hadn’t been in such a low place. And I’ve spent more time in my Bible, reading about how God loves and values people, even me.

    Sometimes situations are really lousy, but I believe God can always bring beauty from darkness and despair if we let Him.

    I hope things get better for you soon!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi CC, thank you so much for your thoughtful response and for sharing your story. Yeah seeking the “why” is something I can absolutely relate to. Know that I’m keeping you in my prayers 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  9. Honestly one of the best things I have ever done is to go boldly before the throne of grace and read God the riot act. really give him a piece of my mind. Of course, I was a bit hysterical at the time,so believing I should straightening out God Himself made a lot more sense. But it was one of the best things I ever did because He answered me in so many ways and it began an intimate conversation and a deep relationship. Under my old way of thinking I would usually keep things to myself, never think abandon all reverence and really say what I was feeling. Someone reminded me that God already knows how we are really feeling, I’m not protecting him or fooling him by “icing Him out,” as you said. Also,He doesn’t actually turn us into a pillar of salt when we yell at Him. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thoughts and prayers are with you. As a fellow sufferer of ulcerative colitis, I feel for you! I recommend two of my favorite passages from the Old Testament… Jeremiah 17:7-8 and Habakkuk 3:17-19. They help me stay focused on God, not my circumstances. Blessings to you!

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  13. So sorry you are having a bad time. Having colitis is the pits. However, whether we FEEl it or not God is with us. I try to remember the 23rd psalm: though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death you are with me!

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  14. God loves you in whatever state you are! He loves even more you are honest with Him.
    He knows what’s going on, even when He knows you need time to get there with Him.
    He’s your Father! And He’s your God. Just keep being honest with Him.
    A song that helps me lately is Stronger For It.
    It focuses on our weaknesses making us stronger.
    Praying for you, Caralyn!

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  16. God has big shoulders and He can handle our anger. What I fail to understand is why people believe God promised us an easy life. He didn’t, but He walks besides us through our trials. He provides us with peace when we cannot possibly have it. God did not create evil in this world. People did. When we ask He can heal us from pain and give us a hope and future. Thank you for staying true to your faith in God.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Dear Caralyn,

    I think I have a taste for what you were feeling in church. It reminded me of Hillary’s last huge seizure and back spasms. After the rescue squad drove off with her and Julie, I stood there in my driveway, yelling at God.

    “If You have to have someone, come get me! I’ve lived my life, and she’s barely tasted hers, so if someone has to suffer, bring it here! I’ll take it! Just leave MY DAUGHTER ALONE!!”

    Not my most thought-out prayer of all time, eh? Maybe I got style points for loving my daughter…I don’t know. But I was addressing the wrong being, right? Remember my article from 9/30, Unforced Errors? You liked it.

    “If there’s a loving God,…”

    This is not, NOT God’s plan and timing. It’s the other guy, OK? People who try to tell you that are simply mis-informed. Ditto on those who tell you God only gives us what we can handle. First, referring to the wrong entity. Ol’ pointy ass is the one who’s dealing it. GOD tells us His strength is at our disposal when we’re in over our heads. Which is pretty well all the time, considering we are in Zombie Land, right?

    Julie and I are in Florida on that vacation, and after trying to rush through the Atlanta airport and not having a chance to eat all day, well, I’m feeling my 60 years in the humid 90 degree humidity here in Naples. After having been a fairly studly guy until my heart surgery, this is very hard stuff to come to grips with.

    You have it worse than me, no doubt. I mean…possession, ED, Mrs. BBB’s stroke, now the UC and auto-immune. At least you’re not ugly on top of all that!! 🙂  (your cue to smile)

    Even Job cracked, although he didn’t break. So you developed a crack. Yell at the right guy and go running into the arms of the Perfect Guy!

    Well, my dear. I’m feeling a little punk tonight, so that’s all I’ve got. Sorry, but I’ll have to pass on Patreon tonight. Just pretty spent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Jeff, thanks for this. Ha, yeah sometimes those prayers of desperation are all we can muster. You’re right. It is the other guy. Oh my gosh that’s so exciting about Florida!! I hope the two of you have an incredible trip. Stay cool and stay healthy 🙂 haha you’re funny. So true. Yell at the right guy and run to the perfect Guy. amen amen amen. Hope your night gets better 🙂 have fun on your trip! Hugs to you and Julie!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Sometimes the things we have to trust for are not easy, dear one. I lost my dad and my husband within 6 months, then lost my job. But in all that, I somehow knew God was moving me somewhere else. Well, here I am 1000 miles away from where I started, and slowly God is restoring things I never should’ve let go of. I will remember you in my prayers for healing.

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    1. Hey Pamela, thank you so much for your prayers. And thank you for sharing your story. Gosh that’s so tough. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you’re in the restoration process 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  19. I understand your anger and frustration. Sometimes we take it out on the smallest aspects of the anger/frustration…like the person singing a cappella. Recently, we were attending a First Confirmation for my nephew and the person singing was so off-key. The sound of her voice was really giving me negative vibes until I remembered our real reason for being there! I know it is upsetting about your Mom’s stroke and the changes are difficult. I had a mild stroke on August 8…when we were in Colorado on vacation. What a shock! Even though the stroke was mild, the recovery is not an easy process! I just have to keep smiling…that’s all there is to it!

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  20. I am not a religious person but I have experienced the “silent treatment” many times so I can relate. My husband always asks me “what is the matter?” But I can’t explain it. It’s a feeling that has always been there. The worst part is when it happens around my kids…they are getting older and noticing now. I have seriously been reading your blog all day!

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  21. I have a bum shoulder and a bum ear. At age 48 these are two things that are really bothering me. I know its a part of aging and I can do something about it. It’s more than OK to be mad at God because God can handle it. There are people who God sent to be in your life to help you through your situations. He didn’t cause the trouble but he is there for you in it.

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  22. Great read. It’s human to be annoyed by everyone and everything. I have my days like that as well. LoL But I try sometimes to put things in its proper perspective. Sometimes I succeed at it and sometimes I struggle. Just keep praying and believing for your healing of ulcerative colitis and I will keep you in my prayers. I’m a living witness it can be healed. 💜

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  24. I so easily identify with your anger and frustration. I’ve been there and done that — and worse. Somehow God loved and loves me anyway. I can’t explain it, but only belief in God can ever make sense out of this hell-hole world we live in. I’ve tried it the other way and nearly went even crazier than when I was just angry. At the depth of the pit that I dug myself into, I started reading and rereading the Psalms every day. I looked for, marked, and loved the ones where the writer complained and called for destruction of all that had injured him. I even helped the Psalmist out sometimes, by putting the names of my enemies into the poem, so God would really know how badly I had been treated. But I never ceased to be amazed that after expressing anger, the writer ended up praising God. At first, it sort of made me mad that he “switched sides,” quit complaining, and then even began praising a God who had NOT been his help as far as I could tell.

    Finally I calmed down (and I’m talking about months here) and began to see that all that anger at God was in the Bible for our sake. God wants us to be honest with ourselves and with Him. I’m neither a saint nor a psychologist, but I now think the Psalms can serve as our release valve, like that little thingy in the lid of a pressure cooker that lets out steam in small doses ever so often to keep it from exploding.

    At any rate, I want you to know that I have appreciated your honesty and humility every week since I started following you. You’ve inspired me many times. I would like to just make all your problems go away, but I can’t. However, I’ll add you to my rosary prayer list.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Do you know what the good news is about the Good News? God understands our humanity, he understands that Adam’s choice inflicted a second nature on the human race. We still carry traces of the “image of God” but we have the second nature of rebellion thanks to Adam. God understands this situation will continue until He takes us to heaven changed with the second nature removed. So remember when health, hormones or whatever causes us to think thoughts that don’t fit the spiritual pattern God understands our distress and is waiting for us to get over it so He can renew the relationship with us. He pulled out all stops through Jesus to get us to heaven, He wants us there and only we can make the decision to keep ourselves out. Keep up your self-affirmation exercise, Tell yourself, “you are valued, you are loved!”

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  27. Love your honesty. The times I’ve been there, done that. I was going to get on here and comment something pithy but honestly, everyone else has said it so well, I’ll just stick with, “Yep.”

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  28. Somewhere along the line, I learned to be thankful for things that have happened regardless of whether they are things that I wanted or prayed for or whether they just appeared in my life. In the end, there was peace of mind. If God is omniscient, God already knows our needs, desires, etc. Why ask? Just be thankful for everything that happens.

    Incidentally, there have been many religious services that I’ve tuned out for one reason or another.

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  29. Caralyn and James, too: Sometimes things just happen. It doesn’t mean God caused them to happen. Yes, he could just make all the bad things go poof! and disappear, but none of us knows what the repercussions of that action would be. God does, however, and I don’t believe He would ever do something miraculous for one person that would cause harm to another. What God does do is to give us the opportunity to learn from our experiences, good and bad. How often do we stop and ask God why so many great things are happening to us? Y’all’s honesty is refreshing. Often in my life when God has seemed absent it turned out that He was so close I couldn’t see him, because He was carrying me.

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      1. Sorry to hear this. You know I am a radical Atheist. I did massive research to reach that point. Too many contradictions in the Bible. Check out God is Imaginary.com 50 simple proofs God is Imaginary. Judaism’s greatest Rabbi admits the Creation Story is not true. There never was an Abraham, Issac, or Moses. I was furious when I found that out. Take Care. Peace

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  31. God always hears you, he is always watching over you. If you’re frustrated with your current situation he already knows and when you least expect it something amazing is going to happen.

    Today I was super frustrated at work, thinking no one appreciates what each department does, everyone is out for themselves. The stockroom is full of trash because everything “not my department”- then today my manager asked for volunteers to send into the part of California ravaged by fire. Not to help people flee but to keep those Target locations open so the workers can flee or check on their homes. In that moment as person after person volunteered to go into an area where they would be risking their lives- all so someone who they had never met could flee.

    That feeling of peace, hope, love – that is God.

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  32. Serene light shining in the ground of my being,
    Draw me to yourself.
    Draw me past the snares of the senses,
    Out of the mazes of the mind,
    Free me from symbols, from words
    That I may discover the signified:
    The word unspoken in the darkness
    That veils the ground of my being. -Byzantine Hymn
    Okay I get it! Meditation is the means beyond “the mazes of the mind” and into a deeper wisdom and knowing.

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  33. Once again, I love your honesty about being angry at God, and I love how you find your way to remember even in this, God loves you. I also have some chronic medical conditions, and when they flare, they can be painful. For a long time I prayed for healing and wondered why God didn’t heal me. I got angry with God over it many times. The only answer I would hear from God is “I love you.” It took a long time to accept that is enough. The pain passes, but God’s love does not.

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    1. Thanks David. I’m sorry that you can relate so personally. I’ll definitely keep you in my prayers. And you know what! Hearing that answer from Him is pretty awesome in itself too 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  34. My Mom and Dad have both had strokes, and it is very depressing. My Mom’s last one really did the most to debilitate her as she has permanent damage. She cannot really walk normally, and her right arm is just about useless. She has had to learn to walk again, and learn to write with her left hand and she is in her 70’s. She gets very frustrated about it all, but she is mostly doing her best and just acknowledging that everything must be done more slowly and a lot of things she just cannot do anymore. Each of us have many things that we go through in our lives, some of them refine us and help us to cast out the garbage habits we have in ourselves, and draw us closer to God…even though we simply do not ever appreciate any of these events when they are happening…because they are simply not comfortable or good…but God always makes good things come out of what happens to us…even the worst things. I learned a long time ago two things….one is that any control we have over our lives is generally just an illusion that we cultivate within ourselves…we can only control our own behavior in any given situation…the 2nd thing I learned is that Faith is not about how we feel on any given day or at any given moment…it is a decision we make each and every day to believe that God has our best interests at heart…to believe that God is a God of truth and promises and he doesn’t break his promises ever. I was glad to read your post and see that you decided to continue to believe in him also and not to freeze him out. It is impossible to have God’s peace without being in an active relationship with him. Very good post!

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    1. Hi Charlene, I’m so sorry to hear that about your parents. Gosh, that’s so tough. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and praters. And wow I am seriously so moved by this. The two lessons you’ve shared are incredibly powerful. it’s so true – faith is an every day decision. it’s not a feeling. thanks again for this beautiful response. big big hugs xox

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  36. Thanks for sharing and for being honest! I recently went through a hard time, also. But someone once told me, “God is putting you through the breaking process because he knows you can handle it (and grow stronger) when others would give up and quit.”

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      3. hope some of my writings can help you release that pain and stress, too, and then yourself back up with something good

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  37. Heard a recent conversation someone had with the Lord, a friend said she was telling God she loved Him, and in her heart she heard Him say, “I know you love me.” He knows we love Him, that just astounds me. He knows we love Him in our moments, the good moments and those real moments.

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  39. My love, you are a treasure to God but such a powerful witness that you are a stumbling block to the other guy. God does not bring harm, the enemy does. God allows only what He also gives the strength to deal with and grow from. Sounds like He is allowing a bit more control to burn off, perhaps just reminding you that He’s got this but you are trying to have control a bit maybe. Just an odd thought popped into my head. Maybe nothing. Anyway, you are amazingly designed on purpose with love. And ask Him and He will help along the way and hold you through it. He is really good at comfort if you let Him. Love you, precious princess of God! Hugs!! XO❤

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    1. aw, Tonya, thank you so much ! That’s so true – it’s not God’s doing. yeah, I need to keep my need for control in check – that’s for sure. i think that thought popped in your head for a reason! thanks for this beautiful response! Hugs and love xox

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  40. Thanks for being really open and honest about this. We all go through those stages. I’ve had my fair share of “Why” moments with God. But remember that all good things come from God (James 1:17). Anything outside of that is an effect of sin, for sin causes death (Romans 6:23). Thank goodness for Jesus Christ. 😀

    Also, the book of Job is a sobering reminder of our place in the midst of a sovereign God. 🙂

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      1. You’re welcome. I admire how you are bold about your faith as a follower of God. Keep it up! 😀

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  41. Beat me to what I was going to say to you at the very end of your post. There is always tomorrow, my friend! Pray the Rosary today and ask our blessed mother to bring you closer to her son and let the love pour in. I know this phrase is said about other things, but we must trust the process. God doesn’t make mistakes and He doesn’t put us in situations that are too big for us to handle. 😊

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  43. It’s so easy to get caught up in that mindset. It happens to all of us . Some days I just have to force myself to praise the Lord . Even when I don’t want to: it makes all the difference . Hope you feel better !

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    1. thanks so much Cristal, you’re right – some days we have to choose to lift our eyes upward. But those are the days when it’s most important to do so. thanks for tis awesome perspective. Hugs and love xox

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  44. We all have our moments. Thank you for your honesty, Caralyn. God has been my target also when I was angry over what had happened to me. I forgave him and asked him to forgive me. It is so good to get these things off our chests, by being honest. So glad you shared this with the world. I am sure you are doing better. Love and hugs!

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  45. Some day you will walk away from the”Nicolaitans” and become one with a fellowship of true believers.
    You struggle with your body. God is the potter; we are the clay. We depend on Him for everything. All of us.
    Our days in this body are numbered. Our spirit and soul are eternal. A new body awaits us.
    Read Watchman Nee and others who had “fellowship with the Lord”. You are in my prayers.
    Continue honoring the Lord in your writings, etc.

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  48. Such an inspiring post on letting God do Him and praise Him even when the situation is terrifying. I liked what you said, “… the importance of praise, especially when we’re in seemingly hopeless or upsetting situations.” As human beings, this statement is in direct conflict to what we would rather do; which is scream and be angry at the person who caused the problem.

    However, as Christians, we should know that no matter what we may be going through; God sees the end of the tunnel, but all we see is the darkness that surrounds us.

    I especially liked your quote saying, “… we must never forget to praise Him, because His love never changes, no matter the circumstance.”

    Although I have never experienced what you are going through with your mother, I do understand where you are coming from with being angry at God because we feel that He should or could have stopped the problem from happening in the first place.

    Your blog post reminded me of a song by Casting Crowns called “Praise You In This Storm” where for me; it’s a constant reminder that no matter what storm I may be going through; I can and should praise Him.

    Here is the link to the song in case you ever feel that your storm is becoming more than you can handle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck2sFfoRMdg .

    I pray that your mother gets better and continues to praise Him even in the midst of her storm and yours.

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  50. Maybe we have “lags in faith” so that when we come back to God we are stronger in our faith and devotion.

    Be well, always.

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