Walking the Talk

I had a pretty unforgettable experience the other day.

It was a Friday afternoon. I had a free hour or so, which hardly ever happens, and so I thought I’d go to evening mass. And I decided to go to a church I had never been to before in midtown NYC.

Like I mentioned previously…I’m “Husband Hunting.”

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Cue the hair and makeup team…

ANYWHO…

We’re all sitting in the basement of this little chapel, just a stone’s throw from Penn Station, and the gospel was on “Whatever you do to the least of these my brothers, you do to Me.” (Matt 25:40)

Truthfully, I had kind of zoned out during the gospel. I know, I’m a horrible person. But I mean, how many times had I heard that classic parable? My mind was wandering to my plans with my friends that night, and what I was going to wear, and how much time I needed to get ready. I hate to admit it, but it was a classic in-one-ear-and-out-the-other kind of a scenario.

Well, fast forward to when it was time for communion, and I’m sitting on the aisle, and in true unabashed fashion, I’m checking out any potential men as they make their way up the aisle.

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And at the very end of the line, a homeless man, kind of staggers and hobbles his way up to the front.

And if you’ve never been to Catholic Mass, there’s the Eucharist ((bread)) – which everybody receives – and then off to the side is the wine, which is optional. And you typically just take a teeny-tiny, taste…not even a sip.

Well, this man, walks to the front and sidesteps the bread, and goes straight to the wine, where he chugs the entire vessel.

And as he’s walking back, he is very disruptive: banging on the piano, messing with the candles, muttering to himself, tapping a couple people on the shoulder. Just, kind of causing a ruckus before busting through the back door in an exit made for a TV movie.

I’m going to be brutally honest here, I was really not thinking very kind thoughts at the moment. I was being pretty grossly judgmental. Quite ugly, in fact.

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And as I was sitting there beginning to spiral into thoughts of, I hope he doesn’t have a gun, or How could he abuse communion like that? – God literally hit me over the head with His message.

For in that moment, I realized that this was literally the gospel – that I had just heard five minutes ago – playing out right in front of me.

Whatever you do to the least of these my brothers, you do it to Me. 

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Suddenly, I was filled with so much conviction for the horribly judgmental things I was thinking. And I saw that man with new eyes – as though I was looking at Jesus.

His toes were sticking out of the fronts of his worn out gym shoes. His tattered clothes were hanging off of him. This was a broken man, hungry and cold, that was trapped in the cycle of addiction, and needing some serious help.

And it was then that it dawned on me…what I had just said about that homeless man, could have been said about me too, during my anorexia. I was that man – broken, hungry, cold, and trapped in the addiction and enslavement of my eating disorder.

I had been there.

Sure, I may not have been stealing communion wine, but I had been doing other things that were just as unthinkable.

What about my habitual lying about my food intake? What about my addiction to the feeling of emptiness and impulsive need to burn calories?

I was no better than that homeless man. How dare I sit there and think disdainfully of him? This man needed compassion. And empathy. And help.

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Walking home and thinking about that gospel, I realized that I had always thought about it from the position of privilege. “Someone who is hungry, or in prison, or naked, etc. etc…those downtrodden people, how sad for them. I’m so glad that’s not me.” 

For the first time, I realized that, I was “those people”….We are all “those” broken people at one time or another.

And so was Jesus, when He chose to die.

Since then, I’ve often thought about that man. Especially as the temperature is dropping, and we’ve come to the time of year where family togetherness and overeating are all the norm. And I wonder if he’s warm. Where his family is. Where’s he’s sleeping.

I guess the next time I’m quick to judge, I need to take a second look. See Jesus. And see  the thread of humanity that is present in me, too.

And maybe it’s time for me to look into volunteering at the local soup kitchen.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

297 thoughts on “Walking the Talk

  1. What a lovely kindred spirit experience, BBB. Your honest sight is precious, whether looking at yourself, Jesus, or your neighbors. Your words echo back with enhanced meaning on the rebound. Keep preaching it.

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  2. Husband hunting…I hope you find what you’re looking for. You seem like you have a fairly stable head on your shoulders and I think somebody who is good for you will be able to see you and want to spend forever with you. You are right; we are all broken in one way or another. I guess that comes down to “judge not least ye be judged.” I am guilty of this myself sometimes.

    Best wishes with your husband hunting.

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    1. haha thank you so much 🙂 and that’s so true – we are all broken in one way or another, so who am i to judge. so glad you stopped by. big hugs x

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  3. The only thing you are is a human being. You aren’t a thug, or an uncaring woman, or a zillion other things you could call yourself. The man knew where he could get a free drink without getting beat up or arrested and he succeeded. He probably even laughed with his friends about it. You don’t need to make a promise to work in a soup kitchen. Most likely, if you were geared for it you’d already be there. Jesus asks us to pray for Him to round up people for the harvest. He asks us to pray for others to do it, those who He knows are best suited for the holy assignment set before them. You might very well BE that person to work in a kitchen but judging by your posts I’ve read, I doubt it. Instead you are probably already doing what He wants you to do. When He wants you to do something He will set it in front of you, leaving no doubt. Of course I doubt He’d say ‘no’ to you if you go through with serving meals, He’ll just re-adjust His heavenly gps and move people around here and there. It will all end in victory with His glory plastered all over it.
    Your posts are a delight to read. Don’t stop.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. you’re right – we need to pray for others, that’s such a great point. big hugs to you xox

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      1. I hope I didn’t sound harsh. I believe we can sell ourselves short sometimes, not realizing that we are already doing many things for God. I think living in a competitive society can distract us from what we are already doing by holding up a shiny, new ‘something else’.

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      2. oh no not at all! I think you’re really onto something there 🙂 thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  4. I loved this post! I have been in similar experiences of judgement followed by realization of how wrong I was. I kinda love it when that happens, because it reminds me that I am not all-knowing, and who is.
    Blessings to you,
    Carole

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  5. What an incredible post, actually brought a prickle of saltwater to this cynical eye. Our judgements of others only reveal our own flaws, especially when those we judge are downtrodden and persecuted and hurting, the same people Christ loved so well and liberated so perfectly.

    Kudos on catching your own thoughts and turning them over so beautifully, you’re a better person than me!

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  6. Funny story, and great lesson about having an open perspective when viewing others, and their situation.

    I’ve been working on being less judgemental and having better tact when talking to people when I have an issue, and my mantra lately is that when I feel like criticizing others, I’m going look inward first, and ask if it’s necessary, and also that I’m not anywhere near perfect either, and I could use that energy bettering my own character.

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  7. Yup – go give some money and time to a soup kitchen. Looking forward to your post about what it’s like volunteering x

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  8. Lots of things popped into my mind here. And I’d probably initially think the same as you.
    But having being down a bad road of grief before I realised I “misbehaved” a lot too. No one knows that man’s back story, maybe he lost his job and family and had no money for a home … etc.
    We don’t know how badly others have treated him before, maybe he is broken and desperate and doesn’t know how to ask for help.
    Addiction is horrible, people with addictions are not in control of themselves, they don’t think straight, they need help and compassion. Sometime they automatically expect people to mistreat them so get in there first with their bad behaviour.
    Thankyou for sharing this very honest post.

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