International Women’s Day…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Well, last week was apparently International Women’s Day.

I hope you can hear the dripping sarcasm in that last sentence.

Does anyone else throw up a little bit in their mouth when, come March 8, social media turns into an estrogen fest of caustic female pride?

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I mean, double standard much?

Honestly, I walk around on days like today, and I feel like I have to apologize to men for the bombastic demonstration of my fellow females. I mean, I feel like I should be wearing a t-shirt that says, “We’re not all raging feminists!”

It’s just a really weird time right now. And, I know this post is going to get a lot of heat…I know that going into it, but frankly, someone had to say it:

Women’s Day…is dumb.

There, I said it.

Can you imagine if men tried to pull something like this? There would be castrated male genitalia littering the streets!

But since we’re females, we get a pass to devote an entire day to pissing on guys and making a mockery of the male person.

It’s a double standard that just feels icky.

Here’s the thing. And this is an unpopular opinion.

I don’t understand when it became looked-down-upon to be “traditionally” feminine. You know what I mean…the Scarlet O’Hara/Audrey Hepburn version of a woman: delicate, gentle, loving and supportive to a man, building him up, and being a compliment to his masculinity.

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When did that become anti-woman?!

I’m sorry. But when I have a daughter one day, I’m not going to encourage her to play tackle football. I’m going to put her in dance class.

And I’m going to dress her in pink. And teach her about the importance of etiquette, and chivalry. And yes, I’ll encourage her to follow her heart, and play outside and get her clothes dirty, and do the things that make her feel alive – but she will know that she is a lady.

And I am not a monster for wanting that.

There’s a desperation when we try to dominate men. We’re striving to beat men out at the top jobs, and demanding this and that, and cut-throating our way to the top, no matter the price — all in the name of Girl Power, and Time’s Up, and Me Too – or whatever the feminist “Phrase of the Week” is. And it’s time someone step back and beg the question: What is the price?

I’ll tell you what it is:

The decline of the family unit.

We are reeling as a country when it comes to home and family life. Divorce, separation, cheating. Parents not knowing what kids are doing. And kids, fending for themselves, without the guidance of a supervising parent.

I mean, the family dinner has become nonexistent.

Our society desperately needs families.

Strong, familial bonds that teach how to treat one another with respect. Integrity. Honesty. Discipline. Communication skills. Cooperation. The difference between right and wrong. How to share and work together.

The family is what a great society is built upon. — Or at least it used to be — Back when that was seen as the most important career a woman could have: that as a mother and wife.

Her career as a homemaker.

But sadly, we’ve lost that, and instead, have outsourced those vitally important tasks that truly shape our children, to nannies. To after school programs. To what they watch on TV. Or even worse — to social media.

And let me tell ya, Snapchat won’t raise our children with integrity and honor.

It takes a parent.

I want to just pause to say two things:

First: I know that dual incomes can be necessary in this world, with tuition, and bills, and expenses etc. And just because a woman works outside the home in no way, shape, or form, makes her a bad mother. Hear me when I say that.

Work/life balance can be a real thing — Devoting quality time to family and spouse, and making it a priority. Working with progressive companies who have family-friendly practices and schedule flexibility for both women and men. (Which frankly, all companies should!)

And on that note, there is still a lot of progress needed to gain equal pay and equal advancement, to remove glass ceilings, and stop harassment. If a woman wants to work, then she should have every opportunity available guaranteed in a safe, inclusive, and pro-family environment.

And I celebrate the women (and men) who have figured out how to attend to both work and family. And I celebrate the companies that have made it possible to do so.

Secondly: I know that fathers are also an equally key component in raising children. And on that note, it is also fully acceptable for fathers to stay/work from home with the children too. But this article is about Women — on Women’s Day.

Let’s get one thing straight: women do deserve to be celebrated and honored. Fully. 100%.

We are life bearers. We are problem solvers. We are strong, brave, funny, smart, organized, beautiful, creative, nurturing human beings.

That is something to honor today, and everyday.

And we’re capable of doing everything a man can do…and technically more, when you get down to the biological nuts and bolts. (No pun intended!)

But in this time that is so hyper focused on the advancement of women, I wish we could place more importance on the invaluable role a woman plays in the home. In her child’s life, as mother. In her husband’s life, as wife. Those are not “four letter words” to be crapped on in the name of feminism.

I’m tired of feeling like a traitor to womankind, simply because I value those things.

God made us to share in partnership with men: equal and complimentary.

Putting down men – even in the name of feminism – is never a good look.

My mother taught me that.

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375 thoughts on “International Women’s Day…”

  3. GREAT post! I hope to meet you someday. God bless you. Ps. I think I’m going to touch on this subject on my podcast this week. It’s been brewing in my spirit and your post is confirmation!

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    1. Hi friend! Thank you so much! And oh my gosh wouldn’t that be so fun?!! Nice! I can’t wait to listen 🙂 I’m a podcast fanatic hahahah #earbudlife Hugs and love xox

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  6. Mmmhm!
    I literally asked my supervisor “national women’s day? Isnt that the opposite of equality?”
    Women’s day by definition is a separation from men and can not therefor be considered “equal” without there being a “Men’s Day.”

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  7. I just see so much hate and negativity around days like this. Women hating men who then hate women in return. The awards ceremony season this year has been toe curling in its ‘right on sister’ approach. Thank you for honesty & love & truth as ever 🙂❤️🙏🏻

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  8. Lovely post, I personally love Women’s day, simply because it celebrates everything we’ve accomplished. I find it inspiring personally, as a Christian woman because I know there is still a lot of women in other countries especially, but here too, who suffer so much abuse. But you’ve also made great points about these new problems the family unit is now facing here, very true I too have noticed. Guess there’s positives & negatives. Great post! You are not afraid to speak your opinion! 👏❤

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    1. Thank you so much. Yeah, there definitely are a lot of accomplishments to celebrate. That’s a great point – we have so much to be greatful for. Thank you for this powerful perspective!! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Yes, I think womens day is just looking at women as a minority group, & celebrating the accomplishments. Just the other day I read an article about the first woman marathon runner, Katherine Switzer. She was attacked by a man, the owner of the race, just for being a woman. Back then woman weren’t allowed in races, this wasn’t that long ago if you think about it. So its stories like these that make me appreciate womens day because we have good lives, but this day in other countries is used to shed light on abuse of women, which unfortunately is more prevalent in other places. God bless & I appreciate your pov ❤❤❤

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      2. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Oh my gosh, that’s awful for that woman. that makes me so sad. Yeah – you’re right, we have come a long long way, and that is certainly worth celebrating. big hugs xo

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      3. Oh no problem! Thank you too! Well that woman’s story is great, she went on to do great things, that day she finished the race, thanks to the support of her boyfriend & trainer who pushed the man off her & told her to keep going! 5 years later women were allowed to run marathons! 😃👏❤ Thank you Xoxo 💖💖💖

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  9. Oh my stars and garters, someone actually said men can be nurturing and are important to parenting children out loud (well, on a blog). Thank you.

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    1. Thank you so much James. Oh gosh men are 100% important to parenting and can be nurturing! amen! Hugs and love xox

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  10. This captures my (another woman) thoughts exactly! While I am gainfully employed and enjoy my career the majority of the time, I’d like to go back to a simpler time when women were the feminine counterparts to the male. I fully believe that women weren’t built to handle all of the roles of a man. I also believe 2 incomes wouldn’t be necessary if we hadn’t pushed into the workforce increasing supply and demand.
    You’re brave for putting it out there…you’re not alone, most of us are just too chicken!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this topic. I’m so glad this resonated with you. Oh how I long for simpler times too — if only to unplug from this dang smart phone!! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  11. Wow! I feel your pain. However, we are not oblivious of the under laying agent beneath the kaios. History always repeats itself, remember the bra burning party that began this entire mess? We than began aborting babies, and latch key kids came into existence. Now we’re headed fir the next chapter. Starting again by pulling down so called powerful hollywood mogals. The white house is a reck. Well, I guess if men can’t work well together, perhaps Women will have to make american great again. Hmmmmm…. 🙃

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    1. Thank you so much Jeanie. I appreciate your thoughts on this. Lots of hope in your words!! 🙂 hopefully this next chapter is a good one! Hugs and love xox

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  12. Love this and agree on so many points. I am a stay at home dad to our fosters. My wife not only worked hard for her degree, but also enjoys her work while I’d MUCH rather spend time working with our kids. Plus I really like the castration line… made me laugh out loud.

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    1. Thanks friend. So glad this resonated with you!! And I’m so glad you and your wife have found a system that works for your family! That’s awesome. Hahaha thanks — I had another word in that sentence but was advised against it hahah Hugs and love xox

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  13. I don’t think it’s fair to group International Women’s Day with the Me Too and Times Up movement. A woman sexually assaulted and then silenced because of the abuser’s power or prestige is not the same as shouting ‘girl power” on one day in March. A pro-women female isn’t necessarily a feminist, either. But I give you credit for having the balls to hit publish, gave me another perspective which is always great!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, the efforts to end the despicable sexual assault/harassment against women is in a group all its own. Thanks for joining the dialogue and taking the time to read! I always love hearing everyone’s thoughts! big hugs xoxo

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  14. I’m really glad that men and woman have the opportunity to voice their opinion, whatever that opinion is! I think you are totally entitled to feel this way (a lot of people do)! Personally, I do think there is value in international women’s day… because it’s INTERnational women’s day, and women across the world don’t have the same rights as women in America. I think it’s a great way to call attention to that fact, and a great opportunity to show gratitude to the men and women who have helped women gain the rights we do have in America! I know everyone views it differently, and that’s totally okay. I just thought I would throw in my two cents.

    P.S. there is a national Men’s Day. It’s November 19th!

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    1. Thanks so much for this thoughtful response! So there IS a men’s day! thanks for the heads up on that. And thank you for this powerful perspective – you’re right we have so much to be grateful for in Western society. Hugs and love xox

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    2. I think USA is the only democratic country yet to elect a female to the highest post in the country. Even Pakistan and Bangladesh had and has female Prime Minister. That tells a lot.

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  15. Love this blog. Screw the feminine movement. I do have a part time nurse gig to keep me sane and from murdering the family but I’m proud of my husband and my kids need a mom more than a corporate boss. Maybe I’m jaded from the first season of House of Cards but I would want no part of that kind of life. You will find the guy that appreciates your values, I just know it.

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    1. Aw, thank you Rachel! So glad you enjoyed the article. That’s so awesome that you’ve found such a great balance that works for you and your family. Never seen House of Cards…perhaps I need to remedy that! haha Hugs and love xox

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  17. Everything is super extreme now days, great post I too feel I need to wear such a shirt, I have a strong determination to try do a lot of what a man does but I know my limits and I’m not a raving lunatic demanding I be bowed too, I just don’t like nagging or being told I’m nagging by my man so I’ll ask him once and if it’s not done in a month or so I’ll do it myself haha.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – everything is either one extreme or the other. hahaha love it! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  19. I know that I have told you that YOU are beyond amazing, but I need to say it again. This is a message that needs to be said. The world needs more women like you. Thank you.

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      1. You are very graciously welcome. I get dished by many women particularly those in church. It is nice to hear from one who is a very shining light. Many
        hugs and love to you.

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  20. Time to hunker down…I imagine you’ll get a lot of guff on tonight’s article, so take a deep breath, pray, and know you have a lot of support from many of us!! Meanwhile, I have some notes waiting for you over on Patreon. By coincidence, I’m watching a series on YouTube which plays right into tonight’s topic.

    FYI: Julie and I made the decision for her to stay home with the girls till they started school. Our typical dinner was boiled potatoes with melted Velveeta, spending money on decent food for the girls! But they turned out pretty well, so no complaints!

    Spot on, Caralyn! Well done!!

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    1. Thank you so much Jeff! haha – yeah, I’m sure there will be a lot of push back. You and Julie are amazing parents, you know it? wow. so beautiful. looking forward to reading your thoughts! hugs to you and julie! xox

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      1. Caralyn, I know that when your time comes you are going to be every bit the wife and mom Julie has been!! You know what it takes to make a family, and you have the back bone to do it. Many blessings, hugs, prayers, and love to you on what may be a loooong night!! 🙂

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  21. Without a spiritual compass, societies swing from one extreme to the other. It is absolutely true that in many cultures today and throughout history, men have undervalued, underestimated, and mistreated women. That does not mean, however, that the other extreme is good: that in which women become competitors with men, haters of men, and replacements of men. We really need to acknowledge the differences, honor the differences, and celebrate the differences.

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    1. celebrate and honor the differences. i love that so much. thanks for this thoughtful response, Marcelo. Hugs and love xox

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  22. “me too” and “times up” were not feminist phrases, but a catalyst for conversation and action on an act that should not be tolerated. Everything else in this post, I do understand as everyone experiences life differently, and so then they have different opinions, likes, etc. So I appreciate that March 8th is just another day for you.

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    1. Hi Amanda, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I definitely appreciate the conversation that Me Too and Times Up sparked. Harassment and sexual assault is absolutely unacceptable, and I am grateful that the perpetrators are being brought to light and served justice. so glad you stopped by and joined the conversation! Hugs and love xox

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  23. We as people need to fight for all of us to be treated with respect. There are bad men (and bad women) in this country. We need to focus on making sure we do what we can to keep those people from having power, and raise our children to respect each other. I have a strong, amazing mom, but I also have a strong, amazing dad. I am the “breadwinner” in my family, but my husband helps me balance my work with my life. We can’t do any of this alone, so while I understand these women’s movements, it becomes hypocritical when we start generalizing and saying “all men” are part of the problem. Thank you for stating your honest opinion. That takes courage.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – generalizations are nothing but harmful. I’m so glad that you’ve found such an awesome situation that works with your family! And that’s so so so true – we need to raise our children to respect one another! Hugs and love xox

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  24. I’m not overly expressive, but here goes, “Thank you!!!”
    OMGosh, I just wrote an article called Broken Boys – Missing Men and touched on much of this. It’s not a coincidence because these are biblical truths that we share. We were created different and equal. Woman is not Robin to man’s Batman – God calls Eve in the original Hebrew for “helper” which is ezer – helper, doer of wonderful things, miraculous rescuer – That’s what my wife is for me and I love it.

    You nailed this with all of the grace, strength, intelligence and humility of yep, you guessed it, a Woman.

    Here’s my sincere and traditional HI-5 in place of hugs,
    Scott

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    1. Thank you so much Scott! I’m so glad this resonated with you:) ezer – love that so much. Thanks for sharing that! Hugs and love xox

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  26. Oh, my goodness, YES! Thank you! I strongly believe a big part of the mental health crisis in our teens right now is the fact the we have “liberated” women right out of the family in favor of careers. I have the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom and feel it is the most important thing I can do as a woman. I feel judged by a lot of women for my choice, but it is my choice nonetheless. Thank you for this post!

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    1. Thank you so much Amanda! I’m so glad this hit home with you. What a powerful perspective. I personally think it is a beautiful choice:) one that I hope to be able to make one day! 💛 big hugs to you xox

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  27. The goal of feminism for me is to get us to a place where we can all make choices to live how we want. I don’t see anything wrong with a woman who wants to stay at home with kids or have a more traditional role if that’s what she wants.

    But a few decades ago that’s all we were allowed to do. We couldn’t even be authors of blogs like this, we had to publish under male pseudonyms.

    Ultimately feminism is a greater range of life choices. At least for me and a lot of people I know.

    I’d be curious to know where you get the definition of it as putting men down or mocking women who don’t want to be CEOs.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Liz. What a powerful perspective. You’re right – we have come a long way and a lot to celebrate and be grateful for. That’s definitely important to remember. To answer your question, that is not my definition of feminism. I consider feminism to be a broad spectrum – one that i am also on. – One that includes everything from Pope JP2’s writings on the “feminine genius” – which is the camp I get behind. To the opposite end of the spectrum with people who are more militant or combative with their words and actions. I was referring to that later camp in that one particular sentence. I should have made that more clear. Because you’re right – it is a broad spectrum and not everyone adheres to that one extreme. Hope that clears things up. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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      1. That is not a definition of feminism however. The definition is about men and women having equal opportunity and to put it in historical context, it’s what women fought in order for you to have the freedom to vote, to write, to wear and be what you want to be and to have control of your body. It saddens me that so many women lose site of what it means to be a feminist. You mention in one of your responses about the generalization of men, isn’t this a generalization of feminists. I prefer Gloria Steinem’s definition, quite simply a complete social and economic equality between men and women. Not the man-hating, angry female often described.

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      2. thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective on this. I like her definition as well. Hugs and love xox

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  28. I absolutely love you for saying this, I support women’s rights fully, I believe they should be treated equally but some take it too far and try to be the dominant of society. Having an international women’s day isn’t the issue, I’m all for supporting inspirational women (especially yourself ❤️) I’m all for having a female doctor who, despite all the feministic reaction, but to take it as far as some extreme feminists, basically it Sexist Discrimination against men!

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      1. Did you publish this post a little earlier today? It didn’t check wordpress until midnight 😂

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      4. Oh my gosh that seriously makes my heart so warm, and means so much. Thank you Benny. You’re a great friend 🙂 xoxoxoxoxooxoxox

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      5. You help me me through a lot of difficult times, I could never begin to tell you how much, but I hope to meet you soon

        AHH daylight savings that definitely makes sense, I think ours is next week or something, love you far too much 😜❤️❤️

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      7. Whenever I want to give up, you’re there, whenever I want to cry, you’re there ❤️ feeling the latter today

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      11. OH OH OH!!! I just figured it out!! It’s Daylight’s Saving Time here in the states so we changed our clocks to move forward one hour! This was my first post since we did so. Hahah so you’re right – it is earlier to you! 😂😂😂😂

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  30. There is a great deal of truth in what you say here, and I suspect there are more women who, albeit silently, feel the same way. I encourage you to keep being vocal on the subject. Very well done. Thank you.

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  31. I agree! All of these outcomes have caused such a strain on the fundamental relationships between men and women. It’s like superiority at war, honestly I am exactly as you mentioned, a lady first and foremost. I will never apologize for that. We draw strength not by throwing other gender beneath us. I would not like to say this, but it almost feel like a sort of “bullying” tactic. No gender is better then the other. Isn’t there enough division happening already. This is a time to march for equality, for everyone, all humans.

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    1. Thank you so much Tiffany. I’m so glad this resonated with you. I agree – bullying is bullying – even in the name of feminism. Hugs and love xox

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  32. I think this is a really really important post! And it’s terrible feel like a we might be shamed for thinking this way by our own gender!

    I remember back in college, I studied literature and we had been put into this workshop class where each week, we got together in our groups and each person had a turn sharing their writing. In my group, I happened to have these two girls who were as you called it ‘hyper feminist’ and it kinda pressured me at the time. I’d written this scene where a girl is getting read to talk to her ex again and her best friend (a guy) was giving her clothing advice. When she picked up a tight black dress, I’d had the guy friend say something like ‘now that does not say you just want to talk.’. You WILL NOT believe how hard the girls jumped on me, as if I’d just condoned the notion that what a girl wears can make it acceptable for a guy to assault her. Obviously, that is NOT what I was trying to say at all. And while other people, including girls, backed me up, it made me feel really guilty.

    I think while women’s day and stopping sexual violence and having equal pay are all incredibly important things, havig an international day for our gender is kinda…unfair? Why not have a mens day if we have a day for both mothers and fathers? Or just not have one at all? Women should be celebrated everyday!

    Also, is attacking each other really going to advance any of our goals when really we all want the same thing?

    Sorry for the rant but I really loved this post and thought what you wrote was very well said 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support, Melissa. Wow what an experience! Yikes. Yeah I would have agreed with you in that class. I’m so with you – it is unfair. And yes! We need to find a way to work together! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  33. Hey Caralyn:
    Another great piece where you are willing to stick your neck out, and face any tomatoes that are thrown.
    Not thrown by me at all, I may throw a dozen roses your way though.
    I agree with what I think is the purpose of International Women’s Day, which is equal opportunity, equal pay, etc.
    But in some cases it goes way too far in my opinion. Our Prime Minister, for example, is a complete unashamed, admitted feminist, and goes out if his way to prove it.
    One major example. Our system of government is different than yours. We have 338 elected members of parliament, with 183 in the governing party, and 155 members total in the various opposition parties at the current time.
    The Prime Minister then appointed a number of cabinet ministers of his choosing, who each have special portfolios they handle, e.g. finance, foreign affairs, trade, National Defence. (We do have a male P.M. this time, although we have had one female P.M. in the past.)
    This time we have a cabinet of 31, comprising 16 male and 15 females. Our Prime Minister purposefully attempted to even out his cabinet, male and female, for the reason, according to his own words, “Because it is 2015”.

    The Liberals, the governing party, had 50 women and 133 men elected, with the women holding 27 percent of the seats in the governing party.
    I am not saying the ladies are not intelligent, and don’t belong in parliament. I am saying, I don’t believe he checked all the people available, and selected the best for each portfolio. His mind was set on “equality” and nothing would change him.
    Of course, looking from the other side, one might say that he does not think too much of the men who were left as backbenchers, being “yes sir” people.

    Our country may not have the best people available in the various positions making the important decisions for each of us citizens, the people who pay their salaries.

    Thank you Caralyn. As always, you are awesome, awesome
    I still love women, they are needed, valuable, and should be treated equally, and not forced into acts, jobs, positions they do not want.

    Luv and big hugs Caralyn
    ❤️🌹😀

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    1. Thank you so much George 🙂 yeah I’m with you. The goals are admirable, but the execution is just too far. And what an interesting example you shared. Yeah – great points. Thanks for stopping by and sharing this powerful insight, George! Hugs and love xox

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  36. I hope you haven’t gotten too many negative comments, but I LOVE your opinions! You’ve said exactly what I’ve thought about the whole… everything. I hope you have a daughter (or a few) because those women will help our future go where it needs to.

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    1. Oh gosh thank you Chelsea! I’m so glad this struck a chord with you. Aww that’s sweet of you to say. I hope I am blessed with daughters one day too!! Hugs and love xox

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  37. I am kind of on the fence with this, because the world sees this day to celebrate feminism, but my friend and sister in christ sent us a sweet msg of how she praised God for us being in her life and the women we became, it was truly heart warming. I wouldn’t be surprised at all the stuff going on around us…. because the world is lost in darkness and until they come to christ their ideas, philosophies, actions will never change. Hence we should pray for 1. their salvation 2. live a life worthy of the calling of God, because that is really all that matters.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah – there were definitely some sweet moments in my own life as well – with my friends too. We shared beautiful texts back and forth and were also able to talk about how grateful we all were for our friendship – so I think it’s a really a wonderful opportunity for that. But the combative extreme just rubs me the wrong way. Yes! I will join you in those prayers! Hugs and love xox

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  38. Love your post! I agree, I feel like a traitor to women-kind just because I want to be a feminine, baby making, husband-supporting woman. It’s definitely a head-scratching time for us females. I feel like girls are so confused about WHO they are–and the feminist movement is the culprit for stirring the pot! It’s hard when you want to be be both, a traditional woman and a career girl.
    It’s possible to have both. But we are led to believe that we have to give up our femininity to survive in the mans world, or we have to give up our dreams and stay at home. It just isn’t so, and nothing–NOTHING–in life is worth giving up your femininity over. It’s the source of our power. I think we need to focus on teaching girls how to be a traditional woman, and the rest will fall into place.
    Thanks for the post!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! Head-scratching for sure. You’re right – it is definitely possible to have both , and that gives me great hope. Thanks for sharing your heart! Hugs and love xox

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  40. It certainly is a view not as talked about and I hear you. Thanks for having the courage to talk about it. 🙂 I think there’s a balance and then there are extremes. Women should totally bond together. We need each other’s support. But not at the expense at others either 🙂 that’s my take on it. We can gain forward without negative emotions towards others who haven’t hurt us. Just because we get taken advantage of and not always heard, doesn’t mean we need that bitterness in our life. And maybe the positivity and gentleness we carry will get others to look at us because we reflect something that needs to be shown. ❤

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    1. thank you so much TR, for your encouraging words. I think you’re right about that – there is definitely a balance to be found. Thanks for the powerful perspective! big hugs to you xo

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  41. My question that day was…are we also celebrating men who identify as women? Or just biological women?
    But well said and I totally agree. Women and men both have things to bring to the table…if men had a day (besides fathers day) there would be uproar.

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  42. Amen!!! I didn’t read one article, watch one video, or click on a Facebook post.

    God did not create me to prance around declaring myself better than. There’s a difference in balance and ego.

    This day to me was no different than the day women thought it was ok to wear vagina costumes and parade down the street.

    Thanks for sharing! Great points!

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    1. thank you so much! I’m so glad this resonated with you. yeah, I agree – there’s a big difference in balance and ego. thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! Hugs and love xox

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  43. I had mixed feelings about this post, but maybe it’s because I’ve been pressured by my environment to be a “raging” feminist. (Did you know that 83% of women in America believe in equal rights between men and women, but only 15% identify as feminists?) Then if you’re not a feminist, everything around you is like, “Aaah! Don’t you believe in equal rights?!” Well . . . yeah, but third wave feminism has kind of ruined equality for me (just my unpopular opinion). I had this urge to defend things like little girls playing in dirt and not wearing pink, or women becoming CEOs of major companies, etc. etc., but as soon as the topic of family was brought up, well . . . everything kind of shifted into place. Even though I doubt I’ll ever get married and I don’t want to have children, family is important to me, and to see the shift in family “values,” if you can even call them that today, is devastating. I feel very lucky to have two happily married parental figures in my life, and I love my mother and father with all my heart. (If you’ve made it this far in the comment, thank you for reading, and have a good rest of your day.)

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    1. Thank you so much, MT, for sharing your thoughts and perspective on this! yeah, it really is a complicated issue with a broad spectrum of stances. Yeah, the family is the big thing for me too. I’m glad you’ve grown up with a wonderful home life. you’re right – that is a rare and beautiful statistic to behold. so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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  44. Thank you so much for having the courage to post this! It’s not easy these days, and you are right when you say it’s the unpopular opinion. However, this needs to be said! I can’t tell you how comforting it was to read this post and know I am not alone in my thinking, views, and beliefs. International Women’s Day was all over social media, and to be honest, I was just kind of over it. Well said. Keep writing and staying true to who you are! 🙂♥️

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement! it really means a lot. glad it hit home with you 🙂 big hugs to you xox

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  46. I think you have a flawed view of feminism, which is easy to understand. The extremists in a movement are always the loudest, so it makes sense that you and a lot of others would think all feminists are man-haters who believe being a “traditional” woman (ie, a homemaket, feminie, etc) is demeaning.

    While there are people like that, I don’t think that’s the majority of the feminist movement. Most of us (the rational ones) don’t hate men at all, and society’s traditional view — that feminine traits are less-than — doesn’t just hurt women. Women are usually the ones most affected, because men have traditionally been in power in western societies. But you can’t deny that treating feminine traits as demeaning affects everyone. Think about how men are socialized not to show emotion, because reacting to your emotions is seen as feminine. We all have emotions and we all have to act on them. But a lot of men don’t because they feel like they’ll be ridiculed. That’s part of the reason men are 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide (https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/).

    I could go on and on, but I just want to gently remind you to look at all sides of a debate before you throw something out. Reading interviews with Emma Watson and Malala Yousafzai would be a good place to start. 🙂

    Thanks for bringing attention to this! International Women’s Day is an important thing to discuss.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, and joining the conversation. This is such a powerful perspective. You’re right – there are a lot of different positions on the spectrum of feminism, and i appreciate you sharing your heart on this emotional issue. I love learning and hearing from everyone. Because that’s how we grow and come together, when there’s mutual understanding and respect 🙂 will def check those interviews out! Hugs and love xox

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  47. I very respectfully, but very strongly disagree with much of what you posted here. I was once a very young woman with similar values and a great deal of naïveté, but I have grown and learned so much, as will you. I will just focus on a few opinions:

    1. Pink is only light red. Wearing it neither makes one masculine nor feminine.
    2. Yes, women must be gentle and supportive of their spouses. But so must men.
    3. Boys dance, too. And many girls enjoy sports, which is healthy and natural, and good.
    4. Women who support women and find fulfillment in their careers and believe that women (as well as men) deserve respect are not “raging” feminists out to dominate men and steal “their” jobs.
    5. Marriages with rigid, traditional roles often fail, too.
    6. The best thing that we can do is to honor, respect, and value both genders, and offer people the freedoms to pursue that which offers the the best chance to share their talents with the world.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this emotional issue. I really appreciate you joining the conversation and offering this powerful perspective. I am nodding my head in agreement with you. (And just for the record, i am fully supportive of girls playing sports! I played varsity soccer and basketball in high school!) I just specifically meant tackle football, that’s all 🙂 but you’re right on the money – love, respect and value for all people, no matter race, gender, religion, sexual orientation — amen amen amen! Hugs and love xox

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  48. Hope you always keep those values. We have to decide what we are going to sacrifice…our children or stuff. It’s a shame that two incomes are almost a necessity anymore. But again maybe most of it boils down to our choices.

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    1. thank you so much. That’s a very powerful perspective. And true – there is definitely a balance that can be achieved, which gives me hope 🙂 and you’re right about that choice. Hugs and love xox

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  49. I feel like your assumption is that if someone disagrees with you, they’ll be hating on you. That’s sad because it’s exactly the kind of mindset that has people thinking that downing men is the only way to empower women. Hopefully you will not view my disagreement as contempt or hatred.

    You have been kind enough to give your honest thoughts. Here are mine, in no real order:

    My name is Genny. When I was a child, everyone supported me liking pink. Everyone supported me being pretty and dainty. Everyone supported me being pretty. I am not a girl, but I tried to force myself to behave that way, because it was treated as more appealing – and almost as a moral good. When i was seventeen I sank into suicidal depression that didn’t subside until God healed me nearly a decade later. The social pressure to be feminine, demure, likable, sweet, passive, and everything else that we have deemed good qualities in a woman almost cost me my life. I nearly died from trying to be what was asked of me. You have every right to raise your kids how you want, and to live your life as you choose, but your way of presenting in the world isn’t right for everybody just because they’re born physically female.

    Secondly, my sister is extremely feminine, and is treated as though she’s weird for being so girlish and for wearing dresses all the time. I always have and always will support her and she always has and always will support me. We look out for each other at times when no one else will. I understand how frustrating it can be to be treated like you’re not empowering women just because your dreams are very feminine and old fashioned. No one else’s opinion or way of living can invalidate yours, and your natural femininity doesn’t invalidate the people who arent like you.

    And thirdly, as far as family units, I was homeschooled, and when I was ready to leave home after getting my associate’s degree I felt called to stay with my family so that my sister and I could take care of my mother while she underwent a few surgeries. I value family so much, and I want families to be a cherished and protected thing. I don’t always ascribe to the 1950s ideal that sprang up out of a need for security after the greatest generation fought their way through two wars and the depression, because I don’t think it’s healthy, and more of a pendulum swing result of a country feeling threatened, exhausted, and unsafe. I want to protect my family, and in my experience glorifying that kind of family model just causes hurtful expectations to be put on the very family members that we had hoped to protect.

    While I’m rambling…

    I feel a little sad looking at this post because I have showed your blog to multiple female friends – including my female baptist pastor who is striving to make a difference in a role that most consider reserved for a man. The idea that the same blog that I’ve been showing her would be posting about national women’s day in terms that make it sound like they are about to hurl… It’s actually physically painful to me.

    You’ve said that this was an unpopular opinion… but the majority of responses I’ve seen have been congratulatory and supportive… and I’m glad you have that. I’m very happy you have so many people backing you up (I have no idea if I will). I also really respect where you’re coming from… but I feel like you have represented only one side of a really messy and potentially painful topic.

    I think we either know different feminists, or view feminism in a different way. You talk about respect and not crapping on anybody. You talk about following your heart, and being a healthy role model.
    But you literally just began a post by saying you gag in your mouth when you hear your opponents viewpoints, and ended it by saying that devaluing your opponents isn’t “a good look”. A) most feminists aren’t here to make you think they “look good”. That’s kind of the entire point. B) didn’t you just do what you hate other people doing?
    Every word of your post sounds to me – either rightly or wrongly – like someone who has suffered wrongful accusations of character in the name of feminism and women’s rights, been bullied about it, and had their voice run over by louder, ruder people. Thats true then im very sorry. Real feminism should be about building other women up, not stamping out what they have to say. That may well go broth ways, but it’s still so sad that that happens (whether that was an accurate description of what has happened in your life or not).

    I consider myself a feminist, and to me part of that is fighting for your right to be heard when you disagree with me. Part of being a feminist to me is sticking up for rape victims… women, and men. Male and female victims of domestic violence. It means sticking up for women who operate in a more masculine way, and men who operate in a more feminine way. It means trying accept those who function in hyper feminine and hyper masculine ways, while helping to fight for equality for people who just don’t.

    Please understand: one of the reasons I am a feminist is that I support men. I’m sure that sounds counterintuitive, but you have to understand that femininity counters masculinity. In some ways that’s good… in some ways that can be harmful. The hyper femininity that we build up is seen as off-limits to guys. Boys are mocked, men degraded, just for expressing themselves in ways that we consider “too feminine”. There’s an article (I think it’s called the boys are not all right, or something like that!) which considers a link between the hyper masculine stereotype that bots get forced into, and mass shootings (almost always by men). The article was written by a man, and as soon as he posted it, he was harassed, and called soyboy, and basically told to stop being… wait for it… such a girl. For as long as marginalized groups are used as an insult (gay, girl, retarded, etc.) not only will we be mistreated, but others will be mistreated for their resemblance to us. I’m not a feminist because I think there’s something wrong with men. I’m a feminist because I support women (whether they have any of the same views as me or not) and men. I am not fighting against humanity on behalf of women… I am fighting for us all to be considered humans of the same value, so that I will not be told I am mistreating one half by trying to build up the other. (It often comes out that way. In this post, for instance, you seemed to feel attacked by feminists, whereas reading it I felt attacked by you. I’ve read your work before and you’ve never seemed really unkind or condescending, so it might be an incorrect feeling. Sometimes sticking up for yourself comes across as downing ones someone else.)

    I won’t touch too much on the pain it caused me to see you lump a movement to bring awareness and dignity to rape victims into bundle of movements that you seemed to find not only silly but almost insulting. Just know that it was scary for me, and the only thing I could think of to say was “please stop touching me, it tickles”, because I couldn’t think of any other sweet, demure, feminine way of demanding that a man who was my father’s age take his hand out of my skirt.

    If there comes a time when we need/get a white history month, a national men’s day, or support groups for teens trying to convince their families to accept them as heterosexual, I will be backing those one hundred percent. Everyone has a right to be who they are, and express their beliefs. I support that. My hope is that we can learn to do it without mockery or vomiting.

    Reading this post made me remember your description of seeing an emaciated model being glamorized. It feels a little that way to me: seeing something that feels unhealthy to you being treated as though it is the only healthy, moral way to be; as though if you don’t look, or act that way, you are disgusting, and laughable.

    We follow the same God, if not yhe same hashtags. My hope is that if were supposed to open oyr eyes to each other’s opinions, and see then in a new light we will do so. I’m not asking you to change. Just to please, please pray about it, and I will do the same.

    God bless, take care, and follow your dreams, girl: no matter how different they may be from mine.

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