Brave Season?

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’d like to first start off tonight by thanking you for your patience last week with my post.

You may have noticed that it was late in posting. And no, there wasn’t a glitch in the system. Nor was I eaten by sharks.

I was…afraid.

BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

For the first time, in my entire blogging lifetime, I let fear get the best of me.

If you missed Thursday’s post, and you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about, I wrote a piece about my virginity. Monday night was the premiere episode of The Bachelor, and Colton Underwood, the lead, is being touted as The Virgin Bachelor. And naturally, as a fellow virgin, I wanted to share my two cents, as seemingly the entire country is making fun of this brave [and handsome] young man. You can read it here.

But I had gone around and around about publishing it all day. I felt in my soul, that it was one of my better blog posts, but I knew that publishing it could have some real negative repercussions. I could offend a lot of people. I could potentially hurt some people, or make them feel uncomfortable.

And 7pm – my publishing time – came…and it stared me in the face. And then it went. And I couldn’t bring myself to push “publish”, afraid of the possible negative consequences.

After all, my viral post about Trump…it cost me a few friendships that never recovered.

So defeated, deflated, and utterly disappointed in myself, I came to terms with the fact that I let fear win. And I went and met up with some friends at our local bar in Ohio, as I was leaving the following morning to fly back to NYC.

And I was one of the first ones to arrive, and I was talking to my dear, sweet, friend and she could tell my mind was unsettled about something. So I told her about the post, and she looked at me and said, “Absolutely publish it.” She said, “I wish I could have read something like that when I was in college.”

I think so often we let fear dictate our actions. We desire control, familiarity, guarantees, you name it — so we shy away from anything outside our comfort zones.

And how unfortunate is that?

What are we missing out on? What impact could we be making if we quit letting our fear determine our future?

Honestly, I think this is one foothold that the evil one likes to use to hold us back from pursuing the path that God has set before us. What a victory for him if he silences that which brings people together – that which spreads the Good News — that which ignites hope and faith and life-giving-love?

Fear keeps us from being who we were made to be. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

So what do we do?

Because if you ask the culture, they’ve got their answer all tee’d up: bravery.

Especially when it comes to young ladies, bravery is the buzz word of the moment. Reflected in movies, and songs, and tee-shirts. We’re led to believe that being brave is the antidote to fear.

But I’m here to tell you, that answer totally misses the mark.

The only way to truly fight fear, is to radically trust.

Fight fear less, trust God more. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

Bravery — it’s self-reliant. It’s: what I can do to control the situation. Depending on my strength, my wisdom, my preparedness, my power to manhandle the outcome.

When in fact, trust, is the humble powerhouse that does the opposite.

Trusting in God’s strength, God’s wisdom, preparedness, and power. Relying on His goodness to provide, as Father, for His beloved children.

“Do not fear, only believe.” – Mark 5:36

Now, I’m not a gambler, but I’d much rather place my bet on Him, than my feeble, earthly self.

When I first began my recovery from anorexia, it goes without saying that everyday presented a myriad of challenges and fears. Heck, I would wake up afraid.

But there was a little mantra that I adopted, that honestly, I have been incorporating into my life every day, ever since. And it is this:

There is nothing I will face today that Jesus and I can’t get through, together. 

There is nothing I will face today that Jesus and I cannot get through, together. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

It is a nod to Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

My recovery – I was incapable of doing it on my own. Ask anyone who has struggled with an ED, or an addiction of any type – they will attest to this. I needed my Father. I needed a strength that was steadfast – yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Keeping my eyes firmly locked on Jesus, and radically trusting in His goodness, and firm plan for my life — only then could I face those seemingly insurmountable fears.

You light up the sky to show me that You are with me. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

So there you go. Not exactly where I expected this blog post to go tonight, but then, when do I ever fully know where the Holy Spirit will lead?

Have a great night, friends.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

For God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but one of power. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog


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May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. - BeautyBeyondBones #edrecovery #recovery #faith #catholic #christianity #blog

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

234 thoughts on “Brave Season?”

  1. Great post, Caralyn. I thought your last post was a refreshingly honest one. I’m proud of you for sharing such a personal post and for making the decision to keep yourself pure for your future husband. What a beautiful gift. 💖 God bless.

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  2. Another great blog from you! =)

    The next time you feel afraid to push the “publish” button, always remember that there are more people waiting for you to do it than people wanting you to chicken out.

    Always remember also that you are not here to please people but the One that you are worshiping =) One question test: Will this please God or not? 😉

    I really like your style, it’s like a friend telling a story to me through the written words. =) Hope we could be friends for real. And maybe have a collab work someday. 😉

    God bless you always =)

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    1. Thank you so much for this wonderful encouragement. Amen to that! An audience of One! That’s what I like to think of 🙂 you’re kind to say that! Hugs and love xox

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  3. I’ve been feeling just like that of late and it’s depressing actually. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and kicking myself hard. It has been like walking into the same wall and not deciding to turn.
    Thanks for the encouragement that you bring every week. You are an inspiration to me and many more!

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  6. When you have an opinion, it’s inevitable that you’ll offend some people. But I don’t think we should let that scare us from sharing it.

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  7. “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life” — Winston Churchill.

    I guess that sums it up perfectly.

    Noone wants enemies.. But if you’re with Christ and choose biblical principles, you’re gonna have some whether you like it or not.
    The fault of the modern generation is that we’re too afraid stand up for ourselves or our beliefs; lest we offend anyone. Yet we forget that there is a serious need for the truth. The truth always hurts, but it also sets us free. And we need more truth in our lives.

    The world has gotten far more Diplomatic and we now look for ways to speak our minds without actually doing so; hoping that someone gets it without being offended. Someone once described a Diplomat as a person who would tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Just know that you’re not alone Catalyn and you have my support. Be brave, tell the truth.. and I’ll back you up in every way I can. 🙂

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    1. What a powerful quote. Thanks for sharing that with me. Powerful thoughts on this. I appreciate your support so much. Hugs and love xox

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  8. I love your blog! Fear has hindered many people from being the best version of themselves! We must trust that God will see us through anything!

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  9. I am so happy that You had courage to publish! I’ve not read it….will check it out….but what a sweet friend that supported You….and YAY that You went ahead!!! Sending huge hugs and a big, fat smile Your way!!! Thank You for all the wonderful inspiration in this post! 🤗💖☀️

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. It seriously means so much 🙂 hahha I love those smiles!! 😁😁😁

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  10. Honestly I don’t follow tv, but for some reason an add for this seasons Bachelor came up on youtube and my very first thought was “I wonder what you will think” so I wasn’t the least surprised to see your post. Keep it up.

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    1. Thank you so much, yeah I had to watch. I’ve always watched the show as a guilty pleasure, but this season, given the scenario, I had to watch. It’s making virginity, something i obviously care deeply about, part of national conversation. It’s in the forefront of people’s minds and so I had to hear the narrative and join the conversation! Left to secular media, there’s a lot of insensitive and misrepresentation happening about it. Thanks for stopping by!! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hi Mary, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. Amen – He will always see us through and work all things together for good. We can place our faith in that!! So glad you stopped by. Have a beautiful day! Hugs and love xox

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  14. I absolutely love how transparent you are. I think it’s so important others see how raw and human we are – it’s what makes our testimonies so much more relatable. Thank you for sharing your heart!

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  15. Ahhh, you underestimate the sensitivity of your readers. I read you because you are a fellow trekker in recovery from brokenness and pain. We both attribute our miracles to God through Jesus. Like you, I often look at the post I’m ready to post and say, “Really? God, do you really want me to share this?”

    I can’t question what God is laying on my heart. He/she has got a reason and I am merely a conduit.

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    1. Oh my goodness, I am so touched by this. Thank you Larry. You’re right about that! God’s nudges are always for a purpose! big hugs to you xox

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  17. Thank you!! Thank you for constantly sharing your heart, your opinions, your thoughts, even when they’re contrary to society’s majority. I think Christians these days have forgotten we’re NOT supposed to look like society, we’re NOT supposed to follow in their shoes, but rather we’re supposed to look, sound, and live differently. It’s not about being PC. It’s not about jumping on the latest bandwagon. It’s not about our comfort. Your faithfulness to Him might not be rewarded by man, but it will most certainly be rewarded by Him, and HIS approval is the only one that matters.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

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    1. Hi Laurie, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. You’re so right! HIS approval!!! hugs xox

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  18. To My Dear Young Friend, When I read your post on virginity, I was afraid that this post was to follow. You have to do what you feel is right, and your guide has never strayed you nor lead you astray. You have BBB and even into the marrow. Take it from the Old One, you are at your best when you are honest, and that is where you are coming from. Keep your Heart in your offerings and you will find that your second guessing is not your strong suite. You are why I wish I was 40 years younger. You are the Best and you are getting better.

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  19. Hi Caralyn. Another post that is up in the excellent file range.
    It is obvious that within your spirit, Holy Spirit is continually working, and Jesus Christ reigns.

    Your Fear, Reverence, of the Lord is an attraction point in all your writing, and draws more people to your post, and thoughts of Christ, no doubt.

    I felt led to list a few verses, hopefully to encourage you, and not take up too much space and time.

    The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
    Proverbs 1:7 – (NIV)

    Job 28:28
    And he said to the human race,
    “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
    and to shun evil is understanding.” (NIV)

    Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.
    Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NIV)

    Ecclesiastes 12:13
    13 The conclusion of the matter–the whole, let us hear,–Towards God, be reverent, and, his commandments, observe, for, this, [concerneth] all mankind. (Rotherham’s)

    We see in one version listed above, “ Be reverent” is used in place of “fear”, which fits in with what God means when He speaks this.

    Then, as far as losing some readers, many people stopped following Jesus as well, when He walked on earth, as they did not like His teaching either.

    John 6:60
    60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” (NIV)

    John 6:66
    66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. (NIV)

    Keep up the great ministry of sharing Christ, and His way of life Caralyn, through your words, and through your lifestyle and every day living among people you know, and those who now know you through your writing.
    To God be All Glory.

    God Bless You Abundantly, according to God’s Word and Will.
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘

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    1. Thank you so much George for your kind words and for sharing these verses. Be reverent – amen. What a powerful perspective to keep. I so appreciate your support and friendship. You are a blessing to me! Hugs and love xox

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  20. We must have been on the same spiritual wavelength! I was pondering the topic of fear over the weekend and finding strength in 1 John 4:18. Keep at it! You’re honest insights and faith in God are inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  21. Open your Bible and you will see that Jesus was constantly making enemies and offending the most powerful and influential leaders, even of His own faith, in his day. Furthermore, He told us that we would do the same if we followed Him.
    Anyone who does not offend or upset at least some people has not moral compass and isn’t taking a stand for anything.
    I applaud you for what you did.
    Love and Blessings,
    Jim

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  22. Kudos to you for posting it and sharing the struggle to push the button. I’m glad you have friends to support you when you need a sounding board.
    And I totally agree with your friend. If more people felt confident in putting sex on the back burner – for whatever reason, if our culture just wasn’t so focused on sex as a topic of distraction – just think of how many more Barack Obamas, AOCs, Tom McCains or Elizabeth Warrens we could produce. I’m not saying any of them or none of them survived until marriage with their virginities intact, I’m just holding them up as individuals that serve our country, their fellow Americans and the world with such confidence, intelligence and bravery. I know there’s more of them among us than there are Kardashians…but where is our focus?
    People hearing messages like yours could change that current. 🙏🏽

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  23. Congratulations on not letting fear overcome you. I think the devil will often use fear to control us and lead us away from our walk. I know that I have personally experienced this a lot in my life and am working to overcome it. It is one of his greatest tools. Fear of rejection, fear of people not agreeing, fear of offending, the list goes on. Good for you for relying on God and allowing Him to help you beat the devil at his game again and again. God Bless!

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  26. I read your very interesting post on the V Card. I admire you for keeping yourself pure. May God cintinue to strengthen and keep you. But, a word of caution. I believe the guy you marry should akso be a virgin. God is able to grant you that husband. Too often Virgin Christian ladies marry men who were or still is promiscious and all they do is to defile the young ladies and the marital bed.

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    1. Hey again friend! gosh, thank you for this generous encouragement and advice. definitely something to pray about! hugs xox

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    1. Bravery is not the absence of fear, but what we say and do in spite of it.

    2. There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you’re ready and in a committed relationship such as marriage to have sex. I didn’t lose my virginity until just over a month before my thirty-third birthday. I’m forty-four now, readying to turn forty-five in a few months. I used to be worried about my status as a virgin because I let others convince me there was something wrong with me because I hadn’t yet had sex, but when I gave my virginity to my then-girlfriend, I realized it was simply the right time with the right person. I’ve no regrets about it at all. One day soon you’ll meet someone with whom you’ll fall in love, he’ll fall in love with you, you’ll marry each other, and embark on the next phase of your lives. Don’t ever feel pressured or inadequate because of a conscious choice you made to wait until marriage.

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    1. Thank you so much Michael for sharing your thoughts on this! I really appreciate you sharing your story. This is a great perspective! Hugs and love xox

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  31. There’s nothing wrong in waiting, provided that one has the inner strength to endure the nonsense that others will put you through. Been there, done that. My lack of experience cost me what might have been a great relationship, and my willingness to compromise (when I finally caved) threw me into the most abusive situation I’d ever known. I’ve regretted that moment ever since, not only because of the drama that it put me through, but because I compromised my own beliefs.

    Stay true to yourself and don’t sweat what others will say.

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    1. Hi Doc, thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I appreciate you sharing that part of your heart with me. that is great advice, thank you. hugs xo

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  33. C, love and fear live together in the chamber of our hearts. Doubt crashes at their apartment a lot, too. Doubt makes us believe we’re not awesome enough to make a difference when we click Publish. You are, though, awesome, beyond measure. – Tony

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  34. Thank you for your trust! I always enjoy reading your posts. I love it how you said, “trust, is the humble powerhouse.” Mhmm this is so good. Your post about trust came right at the time when I needed it. I appreciate you!

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  36. I really appreciate and can relate to this post! It is only by trusting in God and what He’s doing in my life that I can get through a single day. I applaud you for being faithful in trusting Him and blogging about it for those who need to hear!

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  37. Aww, this post is gorgeous! I haven’t read your other posts, but I’m a virgin too. Not that it means anything really.
    I loved this post, because to me it represented courage. Though yeah, I like the idea that behind fear, I mean the opposite to fear, is trust. The willingness to let go, and let god. Let go of the control, and let god take over – god, grant me the serenity…. I was actually repeating the serenity prayer over and over to myself today on the way to an appointment with a therapist (1st appointment).
    Take care of yourself today. As you know, god is with you (though reminders don’t harm and are always helpful, that was actually one of my last posts, that god is with you).
    You’re worth it!
    And why’m I rambling on someone’s blog???
    Love and light
    E

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    1. Oh my goodness, thank you so much E, for your wonderfully kind words! Yes! Let go and let God! and the serenity prayer was one of the most pivitol things in my recovery! this was so encouraging! hugs xox

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  38. I literally had tears in my eyes reading this. I am SO glad you posted your thoughts on virginity and equally thankful that you posted this on bravery! I’ve done that so often too, not posted out of fear, and then lived with that regret of not putting those feelings/thoughts out there. I realized how much I agreed with you, it’s not about brave in the sense of “me” and what I can do, it’s having that whole trust in God and how with him there is nothing we can’t handle. I am going to take your mantra as well and repeat it to my two little girls. I truly enjoy everything you share. Thank you.

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    1. Hi Yvonne, gosh thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so glad that this resonated with you 🙂 Yes!! There’s nothing we can’t handle with God on our team! hugs to you x

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  39. Appreciate your honesty. I find it helpful to preach the gospel to my self, especially when I may feel weak, vulnerable or attacked. As a number of people have said of Christ’s love, you are more loved than you can ever imagine.

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