The 2020 Victim Mentality

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Hi friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!

Despite not being with my family in Ohio, I had an amazing time. I actually celebrated twice! With my boyfriend’s family on Thursday, and then I hosted two other couples for a Friendsgiving on Saturday!

It was such a lovely time.

There was one episode this weekend that was really special. The weather was super beautiful in NYC on Friday, so my special gentleman and I went biking through the city. He led us on a city tour past some of the Christmas staples in New York — including the Rockefeller Christmas Tree. (I know…he’s a smooth operator.) 😉

Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard the controversy over the Rockefeller Christmas Tree…but it’s been nicknamed the “2020 Tree” because….well, it’s a little….underwhelming, shall we say.

It has since “settled” and looks beautiful — (some speculate that it got branch “extensions”). But I got to see it up close and in person!

I think it’s so curious how everything that has gone even the slightest bit array this year has been chalked up to “2020.”

It’s like the universal scapegoat. Which – yeah, for good reason — but everything from the pandemic, to the wildfires, to the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant, to Megxit, to the summer of unrest/looting, to the election results, to cancelled Thanksgiving, to the botched Christmas Tree — all have been blamed on 2020.

And having that psyche — where there’s a scapegoat constantly waiting in the wings, and just this sense that 2020 “doesn’t count” because life is “on pause” — it’s not good. Not good at all.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely found myself falling into that mindset. Almost treating this year like it’s “fake time” – or a trip around the Monopoly Board where you just are practicing for the real thing, and you don’t collect $200 when you pass “Go.”

But there’s a danger in that thinking.

Because here’s the truth of the matter: with God, there is no “fake time.” There are no mistakes or “2020 blunders.” There’s no pause button, no re-do, and most importantly, no accidents.

We are where we are in this moment, because God has allowed it.

And that is a really puzzling thing to wrap your mind around. You mean, God is letting me suffer through 2020 and the pandemic, and the health crisis, and job loss, and anxiety, [insert 2020 “thing” here]…and He’s OKAY with it?!

It’s the classic, why does God let bad things happen to good people, conundrum. Which is a very very difficult reality to deal with as a Christian, especially when you’re in a season of suffering, yourself.

I have certainly wrestled with this numerous times during my life – starting with my anorexia, then ulcerative colitis, and finally, my mom’s stroke. Every time, lamenting with God over why He’s allowing these terrible things to happen to someone he supposedly loves?

And every time, I am shown the truth of the matter, which I was reminded of, this very weekend, at the Thanksgiving table.

I was sitting next to my special gentleman and surrounded by his wonderful family, and there was so much joy in my heart. And I realized in that moment that 2020 isn’t the ruthless bully that we’ve all made it out to be. But that, rather, 2020 has been the gentle course correction given to us by a loving Father, who wants only what is right and good for His children.

Sitting at that table, next to a gentleman I have grown very fond of, has been the direct response of the pandemic. That relationship blossomed into what it has become, because of a number of reasons, one of which being that we survived the pandemic together.

I can only speak for myself, but this forced season of self-reflection really illuminated what is important in life, and I was able to see that love is definitely one of the things that top the list. And I don’t think that was on accident. God has been using this time to form and shape my heart. It hasn’t been “wasted” time or a re-do/pretend season of life. Quite the contrary. This is perhaps just the focus session I needed to really bring my life into focus, and direct it on the path God has intended for me.

The truth of the matter is that, time is real. No matter how we may feel about it, no matter how funny the memes are, or how loud the protest is to the next latest grievance we want to blame on the “illustrious” 2020, this is where we are.

We are where we are because God has allowed it.

And so, perhaps, instead of allowing ourselves to be victims of this 2020 bully, we should ask ourselves the question: Why?

Why has God allowed me to go though this? What am I supposed to learn from the hardships brought about from 2020? What is God trying to teach me? Where is God trying to redirect me?

Looking back over my life, I know that I went through my anorexia because God needed to break my pride. I needed to rid myself of the disgusting pride and vanity that were decaying my heart and eroding my soul.

And believe me, being so stubborn that I literally had to lose all of my hair AND do a three month stint at rehab across the country, it took some painful, painful teachers, but God ultimately got the point across. And it set my life on the course He wanted it to go: to help others suffering similarly.

There are no accidents with God. He doesn’t make them, nor does he allow them to happen.

2020 was in your life for a reason. And it was in mine for a reason.

And sometimes, all it takes is to look up and look around, to be able to see just what that reason was.

Like the Rockefeller Tree, we too, will ultimately settle into place. But it won’t be by chance or happenstance. It will be the meticulous result of an extremely loving and checked out Father.

So let’s not try to fast forward 2020 any more. We are here, and that’s exactly where we’re supposed to be.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

133 thoughts on “The 2020 Victim Mentality”

  2. Here’s another question to ask yourself: “What have I learned in the past year?” I’ve been posing that question to myself on my birthday for the past 20 years. It’s definitely an eye-opener, as long as I’m completely honest. 🌟✨💫

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    1. Hi Gail! you’re on a reading roll! thank you! oh that is such a smart thing to ponder – an eye opener for sure!! so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Caralyn: several things strike me here, but first, thank you for this post! So, knowing I think you’re great, here’s my thoughts:

    1. We often phrase the question as “Why does God let bad things happen to good people?” From the world’s perspective, that’s a totally logical (and honest!) question. But from a Scriptural standpoint, it misses the point that is made by Jesus and scripture, namely, that there are no good people. I know that’s not a popular thing to say and non-Christians and those who don’t take Scripture seriously will maybe attack me for saying it, but Jesus says it in black and white in Matthew 19:17: “No one is good except God alone.” All the rest of us are sinners saved only by the grace of a loving Father and faith in His Son. So the question itself is based upon a flawed starting point. I know you know this…but just sharing it here because it also leads to point 2:
    2. When something bad happens to us (and don’t we all consider ourselves “good” – deceiving ourselves), especially to believers, we may feel it’s unfair because we are “good Christians”, so we ask, “Why me, God?” Perhaps a better question would be “Why not me?” Because we are sinners (forgiven, but still sinners) and we live in a fallen world. I think that the prosperity gospel that is preached by some leads us to think that only good things happen to “good” believers. That, too, is not biblical, otherwise how do we account for the martyrs throughout the ages? And did bad things happen to Jesus? While what happened to him was because of his love for us, the scourging and crucifixion itself were not “good things” for his own person. He also says that in this world we’ll be persecuted (not a pleasant thought)…and that if the world hated him it’ll hate us and we shouldn’t think it will be otherwise for us.

    I always so appreciate your insights and writing! Also glad that you have found a gentleman that you care for and who in turn cares for you! Blessings and peace, and Merry Christmas to you!!!!

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    1. Hi Galen! Wow, this is such a powerful reflection too! Thank you so much for sharing that. you’re right – why NOT me — that is really what we should be asking. you’re right the world is fallen. but what a blessing to have people in our lives to remind us of His love, and to journey towards Heaven with together. and thanks for saying that, yes i feel very lucky! have a beautiful Christmas season! Hugs and love xox

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    3. To add one point, the world suddenly becomes despondent of the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown and the losses of precious lives due to this virus. I understand the sadness, but it is really disheartening that the world, when it was normal, took a blind eye to the millions of people raped, persecuted for their faith etc. Very funny that this refreshes my mind that a world of pride never seems to learn from its mistakes, never seems to appreciate the lessons from the past because we had the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1917 and trinkets of other epidemics from time to time to this suffering which was a big surprise. Another surprise will happen again, because the world refused Jesus and his salvation. When he returned, it will be like a thief in the night.

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  6. I, too, have fallen to the victim mentality of 2020, and it was also right around Thanksgiving that I took a step back and realized how much I had to be grateful for. Your entire blog post was wonderful, but this sentence resonated with me the most: “this forced season of self-reflection really illuminated what is important in life”. Thank you for this post!

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    1. thank you for sharing that, Becca. Yes! we really do have so so much to be thankful for. blessings are all around! oh my gosh, thank you. Have a great night! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Thank you for the like! We have this in common: Pride and a loving God. He gave me mental illness to break my pride and help me realize my need for Him. I would never want to go through it again, but I wouldn’t change its results for anything. Jesus bless you!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this Janes. Amen – sometime we have to go through things to realize His place in our lives!! God bless you too! Hugs and love xox

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  10. I never saw 2020 as a year to be discouraged. People never understand that Life is never easy in a world of sin and pride.
    This classic question, why Jehovah allows suffering, is not because he’s wicked. If god rescues us in every situation, we would still be wicked to one another because we never learn to be humble and be compassionate daily. It is man’s pride and ignorance that allow suffering to permeate in this world.
    It’s the classic law, ”Thou shalt do as thou wilt shalt be the whole law” is the reason why we suffer. Jehovah wants us to see this selfish law/ reality as the real cause of sin and suffering. If we focus so much on ourselves, then pain and suffering are inevitable. Focus on god, then peace of the soul, not from the world, but from Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Prince of Peace, is inevitable.

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    1. thank you for sharing your thoguhts on this! you’re right – we were created for heaven, and therefore, our life on earth – where we are just passing through – will certainly reflect that. Hugs and love xox

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