You’re Worth It

It took me a long time to press “publish” on this post.

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Why?

I was afraid.

Not afraid, in that, I was revealing a particularly personal topic, or afraid to show my heart. Lord knows I’ve done enough of that already on here.

But afraid for a different reason. I was afraid to make you uncomfortable

You see, it’s a funny thing. I recently got 800 subscribers on here, and I know that’s chump change compared to many of you lovely bloggers out there. But for the first time, I was nervous to share what was put on my heart this evening for fear of what you might think.

So, like the good “former-therapy-gal” I am, I did a “feelings check” right then and there.

And here’s what I concluded.

First things first: I am incredibly humbled and grateful for the support from the blogging community. The fact that you take time to read my ramblings is incredibly generous. So thank you.

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I have never been blogging “for the numbers.” That’s just never been what it was about. I wrote about my experience with anorexia and recovery in the hopes that it would help one or two — maybe three if I’m lucky — girls suffering with ED or in recovery, or help the parents/loved ones of those with the disease understand it better. That’s it. That’s all it’s ever been and will be.

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So now, the hesitance I felt about pushing the “publish” button comes from my fear that sharing my heart – sharing my faith – will offend someone.

But I’ve decided that I cannot let that scare me. I’m just a girl. That overcame severe anorexia. And I’m sharing my story of how I did it. And the fact of the matter, is that how I did it, was that didn’t do it. He did.

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So without further ado, I push “publish”

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There’s a lie that cripples. A lie that paralyzes people into enduring hell on earth. A lie that personally, used to make me cling to my anorexia out of sheer hopelessness.

That lie, was that I was not worth recovery.

The insomnia. The constant punishment – whether through excessive exercise, wandering the grocery stores, restricting, isolating, etc., the despair — all those things, I felt I deserved. I did’t feel like I was worth a life of freedom – a life in recovery. Perhaps you can relate.

Here’s what I feel I’m supposed to write tonight:

You are worth it.

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Believe me, I have been there where you just feel as though you deserve the pit of hell in which you find yourself. That this life of utter nothingness is what you’ve earned. It is a dark and hopeless place. And the longer you stay there, the more it sucks you in, and the more you feel like it is where you’re destined to be forever.

But it is not.

You are worth freedom.

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And not just from eating disorders, either.

Whatever it is in your life that has you in bondage. Maybe you’re getting bullied and you don’t feel like you’re worth standing up for yourself. Perhaps you don’t feel as though you are worth putting an end to a toxic relationship. Or a job that doesn’t see your full potential. Or putting an end to a destructive or addictive behavior. Or perhaps forgiving yourself from something that you just can’t let go of. Bondage comes in lots of forms, not just EDs.

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But you think, I’ve dug my own hole, so now I deserve to stay there.

Wrong.

You are worth love. You are worth forgiveness. You are worth more than whatever it is that is suffocating your soul.

Oh, sure. That sounds swell. But I still don’t believe it.

You need proof?

Look at the Cross.

You want to know how much you’re worth? How much you matter? How much you are loved? Look at the Man hanging from that cross, and you’ll see just how much you’re worth.

I’m gonna keep this really short, so as not to get preachy. If you want more in-depth, read this, but I’m gonna just keep it simple here.

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You. Reading this. That man, Jesus, decided to endure death on a cross, because He loves you and wants to be together with you in Heaven forever.

That’s how much you matter.

That He would die. For you. Individually. By name.

So, yes. You are worth it.

You are worth recovery. You are worth a good night’s sleep. You are worth spending time with your friends. Nourishing your body. Wearing nice clothes. Having a warm body temperature. Getting your period. Being gentle with your body. Caring for it. Loving it.

You are worth it.

This isn’t “it” for you. You don’t “deserve” this place where you may find yourself. Because your life was purchased at a price that communicates just how valuable you are.

I hope that this finds resonance in your soul tonight. I personally needed to hear it. Maybe you did too.

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Love you.

Mean it.

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90 thoughts on “You’re Worth It

  1. Yes indeed we are Worth It!! Jesus made us Worthy! I love your post and Thanks for your visit,I will be Reblogging to pttyann2.wordpress 🙌🙌💖💖

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  2. You are very inspirational. It sounds as though you have been through a lot. I am so happy you were able to overcome it all — and now share what you have learned with others.
    I wish you the best of luck in all you do. You are a blessing to many.
    Also, do not be afraid to share how you feel. You are who you are. We are all different and that is a good thing! That is how we learn from one another. Your words may offend one person, but they may make all the difference in another. You never know how you will impact someone. It is important to be true to yourself.
    -Angela Joy

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  3. It would be difficult to find anyone pointing people to the Cross with more powerful, encouraging, or truthful words than yours. With you He is truly pleased. Your fears are unfounded. Keep pushing that button.

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  4. Delightful! I had other struggles but I too needed to know I was worth it, that I was loved, and had purpose. Without Jesus, I had no reason to overcome all the bad, destructive habits I’d formed to cope with feeling that I wasn’t loved. Knowing I was loved changed everything.

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  5. Amen! Thank you for sharing your faith with us. Thank you for sharing the love of Jesus and helping others out there. I pray that God would bless you more and more each day. I love reading your blog and your words of inspiration. Keep going!

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  6. Just started reading your blog – very much appreciate your honesty, sensitivity, openness, and… there’s more, but I can’t put my finger on it yet… Rest assured I’ll be back to read more.

    Take care & God bless,

    Tom

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  7. Thanks! Your courage is an inspiration, and as someone who is also scared to post the post, I empathize. My thing is not so much posting as not letting it go to Facebook to my closer friends, but I’m ok with strangers……need to to talk to the Holy Spirit more about that one!

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  8. Oh you’re so brave! I’m glad you overcame so many obstacles. What a lovely read. I feel so motivated. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post, I think I needed it much, at least today (had a bad day). I wonder how sad it would be if you hadn’t decided to publish it. I will always love what you write, it’s the first time I’m here at your blog and I’m already in love. Take care. I’ll be eager to read more from you! ♡

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  9. I find it so hard to believe that I am worth it and that is a huge barrier to my recovery, so thank you so much for encouraging me and everyone who reads this post to believe that we are worth it! X

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  10. So thankful you took courage and wrote those empowering words. It’s true. Jesus paid it all! He died that we would live in freedom, not bondage. May many chains be broken as readers come and dine at your site, tasting and seeing that The Lord who delivers, is good! Many blessings to you for sharing!

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  11. Good on you for pressing publish. I don’t have a ‘reason’ for writing my blog, I just do it because I want to journalise what for me are the final transitional years from kid to adult while I’m still close enough to remember what kid was. I guess in the back of my mind thinking someone might relate to some of what I write or find it useful was there but when I discovered that it actually was helping people and people were finding it useful or entertaining or relatable really humbled me. The person who gets most from your blog is you, it helps to order thoughts, thrash out concerns and formulate opinions and if in doing that someone finds some use for what you’ve written then that’s a bonus. I love the way you construct your posts and your insight is hugely valuable I’m sure, to anyone struggling with anything. Keep it up.

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  12. I applaud your courage in publishing this piece. I’ve approached that simple click of the mouse with much fear and trembling many times over the past year and a half that I’ve been blogging about my faith, about my daring to jump out of the boat of others’ opinions and adventure into the unknown with a God who is so much more than we imagine! I am so glad to find yet another fellow adventurer!! Thank you!!!

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  13. The courage it took for you to share this has me humbled. Absolutely beautiful… Bondage of any kind is heavy. How could we possibly deserve freedom? We don’t. It’s only because of the love of Jesus that we can live free. Keep blogging…keep sharing!!

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  14. Thank you for sharing. These words at so good and so needed today. So many are silenced for fear of offense. We are free, and it’s a lie to believe you must be silenced simply because someone might be offended. So, shout it from the rooftops: Jesus loves you! That’s the only way some might know. 😉 … Look forward to reading more.

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  15. Brilliant. You have made me actually read a blog that I subscribe to. Usually, I don’t bother, claiming lack of time, but yours is worth it. I’m not religious but whatever you find motivates and supports your recovery and goals is to be commended. Don’t underestimate your own part in the process. It us YOU that decided to make the change and YOU that has the courage and strength. Thank you for this, I’ll keep reading.

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  16. Thank you for stopping by my site. I am so new to this “blogging” but I will do my best to maneuver this site.
    You are a phenomenal, talented blogger. Kuddos to you and I will be visiting more often and read the rest of your blogs. It’s great to read encouraging and personal experience. Thank you again for visiting 🙂

    Hatsin 🙂

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  17. This, without exaggeration, is one of the most beautiful things I have EVER READ. Your testimony is so powerful and wonderful. Can’t wait to share this with everyone. So many people need this message of hope. Thank you for sharing your story. You truly are beautiful. 🙂 God bless you! Audrey

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      • Well it means a lot to me that you shared your story. That was so brave of you! I know (believe me, I do!) how hard it is, but it’s so worth it. There’s nothing like it when God takes something horrible in our lives and uses it to bless us and others. You’re doing amazing! Stay strong, and keep remembering how much he loves you. 🙂 *Hugs right back at you*

        Liked by 1 person

  18. Hard to get people in pain, especially women/ girls, to believe in their special soul when the human body does not support their positive mental attitudes.
    My childhood idol had ED and I got to see her in the hospital when she was recovering. Her issue was control over her own destiny. If she had had an avenue like this, and a voice as strong as **yours,** she probably would have survived it with less injury.
    “Nomen Domini invocabo – Pax tecum”
    I call upon the name of the Lord – Peace be with you. ❤

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  19. Just wanna say, that this is amazing. It’s amazing to see how a simple honesty and love could connect so many people together, even though we are all, probably miles and miles apart. It’s beautiful really. Thank you so much. I am inspired to outreach and connect with people more. I remembered this quote by a poet.. it went something like, everyone, at some points our our life, wakes up, feeling like we’ll never be loved. The best thing to do in such circumstances, is to wake somebody else up, so that they’ll feel this way too. I truly believe empathy is so powerful. As Dr brene brown said, it IS the antidote to shame, to anything self-deprecating. And by empathy, it also includes SELF-empathy. Thing that I found useful, is to treat myself as how I would treat a best friend. Hope you have a nice day today! And all fellow folks out there haha. Love on ♡

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